My sleep cycle is always all screwed up from the weekend making me sleepy and quiet. That's not so much a bad thing as it is a fact of life.
Anyway, I had a couple of energy drinks and we got the new tank in place, filled up, and put some test fish in there to make sure everything's good to go. Silicone can leech acetic acid if it hasn't had enough time to cure. It's been 72 hours and the smell is gone so I think we're in the clear. I also don't want to stress poor Bruno out anymore since he spent last week in the bathtub so we've got some danios in there in the mean time. If they're still alive and healthy by this time tomorrow we'll start getting all the fish back into the proper tanks.
I think Goose and were listening to In the Reigns today and it got us thinking about love songs. I think we are going to do a set of posts of our favorite love songs some time soon. Not just romantic love songs, just all around good songs about some facet of love. You should post your favorites too Dear Friend. For realsies.
That's all I've got for now. Pictures soon. I've got one more ASU final tomorrow night and then I'll have time to edit and post them for you. Pinky promise.
Song of the day is Train Underwater.
(Also, I miss your face.)
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Jerome
Today we went to Jerome with Mr. Beverly, and ladies F and J. J is apparently my twin. We have the same brain. It was hilarious and disturbing since there are now two of us stomping around.
I spent most of the drive up there telling stories about you and I and our adventures and waxing lyrical about how badly I miss you. I wish you were home again. Really I do. *sigh* Oh Dear Friend, life is strange and cruel. Time and distance are unfair. I feel like this may be the theme of the summer for me. Guess we'll just have to wait and see how it plays out eh?
Pictures for you tomorrow, pinky promise.
Love and white light from us to you.
Song of the day is Neutral Milk Hotel.
I spent most of the drive up there telling stories about you and I and our adventures and waxing lyrical about how badly I miss you. I wish you were home again. Really I do. *sigh* Oh Dear Friend, life is strange and cruel. Time and distance are unfair. I feel like this may be the theme of the summer for me. Guess we'll just have to wait and see how it plays out eh?
Pictures for you tomorrow, pinky promise.
Love and white light from us to you.
Song of the day is Neutral Milk Hotel.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Oh, and Hannah...
I just wanted to say, it really cracks me up how many blog hits I get from people googling YOU.
"rusaiji girlfriend", "rusaiji love", and "rusaiji bitch" all keep showing up in my search keywords. How that ends up here I'll never know. The internet is weird.
I miss YOUR face too, you know. Lots.
"rusaiji girlfriend", "rusaiji love", and "rusaiji bitch" all keep showing up in my search keywords. How that ends up here I'll never know. The internet is weird.
I miss YOUR face too, you know. Lots.
Today
I slept through the better half of the day, waking up sometime after 1pm. We showered and stumbled outside to get a good look at the tank project from last night. It really looks fantastic. Much better than I had expected.
Here are some pictures. The patch is in the upper right hand corner of the full tank shot (taken from the back of the tank) and in the upper left had corner of the half tank shot taken from inside the tank on the front.
It needs to cure for at least 32 hours before we can water test it, but hopefully it will be up and running by the end of the day Tuesday.
Song of the Day is Fallen:
Here are some pictures. The patch is in the upper right hand corner of the full tank shot (taken from the back of the tank) and in the upper left had corner of the half tank shot taken from inside the tank on the front.
It needs to cure for at least 32 hours before we can water test it, but hopefully it will be up and running by the end of the day Tuesday.
Song of the Day is Fallen:
Friday
Friday, having gotten slightly more sleep than any other night over the course of the week I was in a SLIGHTLY better mood. I went to work. I sat through an hour long conference call about nothing in particular. I finished my work. I went home.
We needed to get the new tank up and running ASAP so that was my main focus for the evening. Goose went and got some glass cut to patch the hole in the tank. We brainstormed how to hide the patch and decided to tile the background of the tank. We stopped by homedepot and picked up some supplies.
Around 6pm we set to work. After 6 consecutive hours of neurotic work siliconing the tiles onto the back of the 48x24' aquarium it was done. We went inside and collapsed in exhaustion. I slept until just after 1pm the following day.
We needed to get the new tank up and running ASAP so that was my main focus for the evening. Goose went and got some glass cut to patch the hole in the tank. We brainstormed how to hide the patch and decided to tile the background of the tank. We stopped by homedepot and picked up some supplies.
Around 6pm we set to work. After 6 consecutive hours of neurotic work siliconing the tiles onto the back of the 48x24' aquarium it was done. We went inside and collapsed in exhaustion. I slept until just after 1pm the following day.
Thursday
I went to bed just after 2 am Thursday morning and had to get up again at 4 to take a shower and get some last minute studying in for my 7am final.
At this point I was really just delirious with sleep deprivation. Walking was difficult as my brain was not communicating with my legs correctly. I felt drunk. Just totally smashed. I struggled to ride my bike through the throngs of people at ASU. I somehow finished my exam, but I'm not sure how much of it was right, or even on the correct subject. Oh well. It is what it is.
The day was miserable. It was a terrible blur of trying to get through the day. I broke down in tears several times for no apparent reason, other than that I was exhausted and needed to sleep.
My dad was curt with me on the phone when I tried to explain that I just couldn't do lunch with him this week because I was exhausted and stressed out and tired and generally unpleasant to be around. He said he didn't care, he would just bring me food and leave but I just couldn't handle it. It was all I could do to keep moving. I just wanted to be left alone. To not have to think or talk or move anymore.
Ever semester Dad and I do this dance, where I tell him I really just need to be left alone while I try to survive finals week and he struggles to wrap his head around it. Instead of saying 'okay' and leaving it be, he just keeps call/texting/emailing me for no reason and asking me why I'm being evasive. *facepalm*.
Dad is really my favorite person in the world, and our lunches together are the highlight of my weeks but not during finals. In fact, I don't really like anything during finals and I find everything everyone says to be a new and more horrific shade of irritating than the last.
I somehow made it through my shift. I came home and cranked out my take-home exam for my math class in under 3 hours and then went to class until 9. I came home, wrote my last paper for the semester and then died inside.
Song of the day is Bridge Over Troubled Water
At this point I was really just delirious with sleep deprivation. Walking was difficult as my brain was not communicating with my legs correctly. I felt drunk. Just totally smashed. I struggled to ride my bike through the throngs of people at ASU. I somehow finished my exam, but I'm not sure how much of it was right, or even on the correct subject. Oh well. It is what it is.
The day was miserable. It was a terrible blur of trying to get through the day. I broke down in tears several times for no apparent reason, other than that I was exhausted and needed to sleep.
My dad was curt with me on the phone when I tried to explain that I just couldn't do lunch with him this week because I was exhausted and stressed out and tired and generally unpleasant to be around. He said he didn't care, he would just bring me food and leave but I just couldn't handle it. It was all I could do to keep moving. I just wanted to be left alone. To not have to think or talk or move anymore.
Ever semester Dad and I do this dance, where I tell him I really just need to be left alone while I try to survive finals week and he struggles to wrap his head around it. Instead of saying 'okay' and leaving it be, he just keeps call/texting/emailing me for no reason and asking me why I'm being evasive. *facepalm*.
Dad is really my favorite person in the world, and our lunches together are the highlight of my weeks but not during finals. In fact, I don't really like anything during finals and I find everything everyone says to be a new and more horrific shade of irritating than the last.
I somehow made it through my shift. I came home and cranked out my take-home exam for my math class in under 3 hours and then went to class until 9. I came home, wrote my last paper for the semester and then died inside.
Song of the day is Bridge Over Troubled Water
Wednesday
We had to do cycle counts at work, which is like a mini-inventory which put me behind by a couple of hours. I worked my butt off to get out of there on time so that we could pick up the truck and drive out to BFE to get the tank.
It was really REALLY far away, a little over an hour in rush hour traffic, but we made it. It was a 72 gallon bowfront tanks and was in the garage at a huge baptist church. I guess one of the youth ministers had bought it some time ago with the intention of doing something with it, but then lost interest and it had just been gathering dust.
It wasn't in perfect shape, the center brace had been re-enforced as a precautionary measure and needed to be re-siliconed. It was dirty, and I think someone had been using an angle grinder near it because one side of the front bow had micro scratches on it that looked like they were probably caused by tiny pieces of metal. The tank also needed a good cleaning. All in all, it was still a fantastic deal on a great tank.
We got it home and got the UHaul returned by 7pm. The fish had to be dealt with at this point, since I really needed a shower and the bathtub was still full of fish. After some careful shuffling around we managed to get everyone into a tank and I was up until 2 working on finals again. By this point I was really ready to just die.
Song of the Day is Ghost by The Indigo Girls.
This was stuck in my head most of the day. It's one of my favorite songs, I know, I know, sometimes I am just too gay for my own good.
It was really REALLY far away, a little over an hour in rush hour traffic, but we made it. It was a 72 gallon bowfront tanks and was in the garage at a huge baptist church. I guess one of the youth ministers had bought it some time ago with the intention of doing something with it, but then lost interest and it had just been gathering dust.
It wasn't in perfect shape, the center brace had been re-enforced as a precautionary measure and needed to be re-siliconed. It was dirty, and I think someone had been using an angle grinder near it because one side of the front bow had micro scratches on it that looked like they were probably caused by tiny pieces of metal. The tank also needed a good cleaning. All in all, it was still a fantastic deal on a great tank.
We got it home and got the UHaul returned by 7pm. The fish had to be dealt with at this point, since I really needed a shower and the bathtub was still full of fish. After some careful shuffling around we managed to get everyone into a tank and I was up until 2 working on finals again. By this point I was really ready to just die.
Song of the Day is Ghost by The Indigo Girls.
This was stuck in my head most of the day. It's one of my favorite songs, I know, I know, sometimes I am just too gay for my own good.
Tueday
Here's a shot of the fish in the bathtub, looking angry. He mostly hid behind his flowerpot as he was REALLY displeased with the situation. The other catfish could not be photographed because they refused to come out of hiding so this will have to suffice.
The day was spent neurotically tolling Craigslist trying to find a new fish tank. It did not go well. First of all, Tuesday is a really bad day to look for anything on Craigslist for some reason. Secondly, everything posted was either much too big or too small which is amazing considering we were looking for ANYTHING between 55 and 125 gallons.
I did get one lead on a "large fish tank" with no other details posted, but I emalied him around 6am and when I hadn't heard anything back by noon I forgot all about it.
Later that night, while submitting a final I decided to check my email. The tank was available! Hooray! So I called the guy, who was very nice, but it sounded like the tank was in really bad shape. He was only asking $40 for it, so I said what the hell, and rented a UHaul for the next day.
I had a night class until 9 and then was up working on exams until well past 1 am. I had to get up at quarter to four to take a shower and get ready for work and I was really starting to feel exhausted.
Song of the day is by BlondeRedhead
The day was spent neurotically tolling Craigslist trying to find a new fish tank. It did not go well. First of all, Tuesday is a really bad day to look for anything on Craigslist for some reason. Secondly, everything posted was either much too big or too small which is amazing considering we were looking for ANYTHING between 55 and 125 gallons.
I did get one lead on a "large fish tank" with no other details posted, but I emalied him around 6am and when I hadn't heard anything back by noon I forgot all about it.
Later that night, while submitting a final I decided to check my email. The tank was available! Hooray! So I called the guy, who was very nice, but it sounded like the tank was in really bad shape. He was only asking $40 for it, so I said what the hell, and rented a UHaul for the next day.
I had a night class until 9 and then was up working on exams until well past 1 am. I had to get up at quarter to four to take a shower and get ready for work and I was really starting to feel exhausted.
Song of the day is by BlondeRedhead
Monday
Monday was chaos. Work is brutal in the spring because census is continually high. In the fall it starts out low and gets higher as we approach the winter. Then it slows down over the holidays/finals. Not so much in the spring. It starts out high and stays high until summer is in full swing. This adds a whole 'nother layer of stress to my daily life that includes long work hours filled with a higher intensity of work. Yuck.
But I survived the day. I cam home and got to work on my finals. We got up to feed the fish and noticed Bruno, one of our oscars was acting strange. We did a 50% water change around 8pm and I went back to working on my finals. I finished up my last paper of the night just after midnight and went to go to bed.
I decided, after getting comfortable, that I should get up and check on Bruno and turn on the moonlights to see if I could catch a glimpse of our new eclipse catfish. Good thing I did!
I went over to the tank to find the center brace broken.
Now the thing about center braces on aquariums is that they're ridiculously important. They keep the glass from bowing out under the weight/pressure of the water. Without it the tank's integrity is seriously compromised.
In addition to the brace being broken, the tank was already bowing out. I also found that since the brace was no longer there to support the lids/light they were now submerged in the tank. The light had been on and was plugged in and there was an electrocuted catfish floating in the water. I couldn't see the other fish in the dark.
Like a maniac, I started screaming "EMERGENCY!!!", mostly because my brain had shut off and I didn't know what else to say. I also got in a few "this is not a drill!" and "for the love of God get the python" in there. (The python is a very long hose we use to change the water.
We managed to get the tank drained and the fish into the bathtub before the tank exploded. We threw in some sponge filters and the heater and tried to call it a night, but we were really still too hopped up on adrenaline to get much sleep. This set the stage for the days of sleep deprivation to follow.
Song of the Day is by Placebo:
But I survived the day. I cam home and got to work on my finals. We got up to feed the fish and noticed Bruno, one of our oscars was acting strange. We did a 50% water change around 8pm and I went back to working on my finals. I finished up my last paper of the night just after midnight and went to go to bed.
I decided, after getting comfortable, that I should get up and check on Bruno and turn on the moonlights to see if I could catch a glimpse of our new eclipse catfish. Good thing I did!
I went over to the tank to find the center brace broken.
Now the thing about center braces on aquariums is that they're ridiculously important. They keep the glass from bowing out under the weight/pressure of the water. Without it the tank's integrity is seriously compromised.
In addition to the brace being broken, the tank was already bowing out. I also found that since the brace was no longer there to support the lids/light they were now submerged in the tank. The light had been on and was plugged in and there was an electrocuted catfish floating in the water. I couldn't see the other fish in the dark.
Like a maniac, I started screaming "EMERGENCY!!!", mostly because my brain had shut off and I didn't know what else to say. I also got in a few "this is not a drill!" and "for the love of God get the python" in there. (The python is a very long hose we use to change the water.
We managed to get the tank drained and the fish into the bathtub before the tank exploded. We threw in some sponge filters and the heater and tried to call it a night, but we were really still too hopped up on adrenaline to get much sleep. This set the stage for the days of sleep deprivation to follow.
Song of the Day is by Placebo:
Pride
Pride came and went last weekend. We had a big group of people that were supposed to go with us but everybody but Tes canceled on us. (Boo!)
It was fun times. Not nearly as fun as last year, but still pretty good.
At least for the first couple of hours.
We missed the parade because T had car troubles. Goose hates the parade anyway so no real loss there. We got there, got hammered, and stumbled around giggling for quite some time. We met up with some of our other friends about half way through the day and continued with the ridiculousness.
Goose got too drunk and got sunstroke. It was...not pretty. Lol. But she didn't die and T and I managed to get her home without issue.
It was hot. Damn, dirty, hot. Over 105. I forgot that we usually leave around mid-day and come back in the evening. We couldn't remember how we pulled it off last year without dying. I figured it out too late.
We went back Sunday, but only stayed for a couple of hours because the heat was really oppressive.
We watched some REALLY bad drag shows and managed to avoid seeing anyone we didn't want to see so that was a win. T also rode a bull...briefly. It was funny.
Here are some pictures of the day:
There are more pictures, but T wore a swimsuit on the first day and I don't have her permission to go around uploading her bikini shots all over the interwebs so these will have to make due.
That one of me in green is a wonderful action shot of me trying to figure out how on earth we survived the heat last year in the car on the way home. I've included it since it's Gooses' favorite.
Song for the weekend:
It was fun times. Not nearly as fun as last year, but still pretty good.
At least for the first couple of hours.
We missed the parade because T had car troubles. Goose hates the parade anyway so no real loss there. We got there, got hammered, and stumbled around giggling for quite some time. We met up with some of our other friends about half way through the day and continued with the ridiculousness.
Goose got too drunk and got sunstroke. It was...not pretty. Lol. But she didn't die and T and I managed to get her home without issue.
It was hot. Damn, dirty, hot. Over 105. I forgot that we usually leave around mid-day and come back in the evening. We couldn't remember how we pulled it off last year without dying. I figured it out too late.
We went back Sunday, but only stayed for a couple of hours because the heat was really oppressive.
We watched some REALLY bad drag shows and managed to avoid seeing anyone we didn't want to see so that was a win. T also rode a bull...briefly. It was funny.
Here are some pictures of the day:
There are more pictures, but T wore a swimsuit on the first day and I don't have her permission to go around uploading her bikini shots all over the interwebs so these will have to make due.
That one of me in green is a wonderful action shot of me trying to figure out how on earth we survived the heat last year in the car on the way home. I've included it since it's Gooses' favorite.
Song for the weekend:
Last Week
Last week is kind of a blur. I had a million and one things to get done and no time at all. It was actually kind of a surreal blur of me mostly standing still and time just hemorrhaging through my hands.
I muddled my way through the last week of school, took the first of my finals, cut off my hair and collapsed into a muddled wreck of anxiety and exhaustion.
Song for the week is River Waltz by the Cowboy Junkies :
This is one of my favorite songs of all time. It comes in a close second behind Joni Mitchel's Case of You, but it's really REALLY close.
Also, Lost and Delirious is a fantastic movie if you somehow have not managed to see it.
I'm going to find me a dying river
And strike a deal with her I'll say,
"I'll fold you in two and I'll carry you away
To a place where your headwaters will flow
Clean through to your mouth."
In return I'll request a small sanctuary
By her banks where we will live with our small family
She will water our garden and clean the dirt from our skin.
While the world clamours at our door
We will dance and not let them in.
And if one day we wake up to a bed dry as a bone
Find our river stolen, find our sanctuary gone
We will stand and take stock and be grateful
For what we've not lost.
We will pack up our bags, pack our small family
Head across the valley to where the aspen trees
Shiver as they ascend - the green hills rising to blue.
At the edge of the chopping we will turn
And bid fond "adieu".
All that I know to be true
Is the touch of your hand on my skin.
One look from you can so easily soothe
All this turmoil within
As we dance cheek to cheek
With our feet so completely
Locked in a time all our own.
I stop to speak
But you gently keep me
Moving in time to the song.
And in a voice that is sloppy with gin
You say, "let the world spin."
I'm going to find me a dying river
And strike a deal with her I'll say,
"I'll fold you in two and I'll carry you away
To place where your headwaters will flow
Clean through to your mouth."
In return I'll request a small sanctuary
By her banks where we will live with our small family
She will water our garden and clean the dirt from our skin.
While the world clamours at our door
We will dance and not let them in.
I muddled my way through the last week of school, took the first of my finals, cut off my hair and collapsed into a muddled wreck of anxiety and exhaustion.
Song for the week is River Waltz by the Cowboy Junkies :
This is one of my favorite songs of all time. It comes in a close second behind Joni Mitchel's Case of You, but it's really REALLY close.
Also, Lost and Delirious is a fantastic movie if you somehow have not managed to see it.
I'm going to find me a dying river
And strike a deal with her I'll say,
"I'll fold you in two and I'll carry you away
To a place where your headwaters will flow
Clean through to your mouth."
In return I'll request a small sanctuary
By her banks where we will live with our small family
She will water our garden and clean the dirt from our skin.
While the world clamours at our door
We will dance and not let them in.
And if one day we wake up to a bed dry as a bone
Find our river stolen, find our sanctuary gone
We will stand and take stock and be grateful
For what we've not lost.
We will pack up our bags, pack our small family
Head across the valley to where the aspen trees
Shiver as they ascend - the green hills rising to blue.
At the edge of the chopping we will turn
And bid fond "adieu".
All that I know to be true
Is the touch of your hand on my skin.
One look from you can so easily soothe
All this turmoil within
As we dance cheek to cheek
With our feet so completely
Locked in a time all our own.
I stop to speak
But you gently keep me
Moving in time to the song.
And in a voice that is sloppy with gin
You say, "let the world spin."
I'm going to find me a dying river
And strike a deal with her I'll say,
"I'll fold you in two and I'll carry you away
To place where your headwaters will flow
Clean through to your mouth."
In return I'll request a small sanctuary
By her banks where we will live with our small family
She will water our garden and clean the dirt from our skin.
While the world clamours at our door
We will dance and not let them in.
She lives!
I have two finals left to go and the worst of it is over, so hopefully my life will be resuming some level of normalcy over the next few days.
I'm terribly sorry Dear Friend, for the continually sketchy nature of this open letter to you over the past couple of months. The spring is always terrible. I just never seem to be prepared for what exactly that means for all of the various things I have to get done on a day-to-day basis.
*le sigh*
But it's only up from here.
I owe you about a million songs, but instead I'm just going to post updates on the days of note since we last spoke. Possibly with songs, probably with pictures and we'll see how this goes down.
In other news, I miss you terribly. I'm still struggling to adjust to the reality of you being there and me being here. All that work/school in the middle there kind of made it seem less severe than it really is since even if you were here I probably wouldn't have seen you very much. With the summer approaching and the daunting reality of free time drawing ever closer it's an increasing source of anxiety for me. You don't happen to want to come home yet do you? *love*
I'm terribly sorry Dear Friend, for the continually sketchy nature of this open letter to you over the past couple of months. The spring is always terrible. I just never seem to be prepared for what exactly that means for all of the various things I have to get done on a day-to-day basis.
*le sigh*
But it's only up from here.
I owe you about a million songs, but instead I'm just going to post updates on the days of note since we last spoke. Possibly with songs, probably with pictures and we'll see how this goes down.
In other news, I miss you terribly. I'm still struggling to adjust to the reality of you being there and me being here. All that work/school in the middle there kind of made it seem less severe than it really is since even if you were here I probably wouldn't have seen you very much. With the summer approaching and the daunting reality of free time drawing ever closer it's an increasing source of anxiety for me. You don't happen to want to come home yet do you? *love*
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Song of the day!
I'm pretty sure everyone was due for a little Pat Benatar.
Oh! I forgot to mention I'm making up for last weeks lack of music. Hope you're ready for it. Two down five more to go.
Song of the day!
LittleFoot is indisposed and asked me to give you her best.
Don't you worry Goose is here to take care of all your music needs. :)
Also I love and miss you! Come home soon!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Blinded.
The past two days have been a relentless, hellacious, never-ending blur of suffering.
Things were fine yesterday morning. I went to work, then to class, and returned to work feeling fine. By 11 I had a raging headache, but not so terrible that I was unable to work. My noon I was grinding my teeth, squinting my eyes and praying it was just a bad headache.
No such luck. By 12:15 the tunnel vision and vomiting started, I accepted it was a complex migraine and switched off the lights at work. Goose brought me my migraine meds and some sunglasses around 1, and I limped through the rest of the day in the dark. With my sunglasses on. With a shirt over my computer monitor (since it is apparently impossible to turn down the screen brightness on my work computer). And in total silence.
Poor R tried to ask me if I was okay and all I could say was "Shut up. I'm not mad at you, but you need to shut up."
There was a while there in the middle where I really thought I would have to go to the ER right then and be unable to finish my shift. I have had exactly one seizure in my life, and it was migraine related. I really believed I was about to have another. As a precaution I wrote down a brief medical history related to my migraines, what meds I was taking for my head and my (still terrible) ear infection, symptoms, who needed to be called and what to do in case something went wrong and gave it to R. He panicked a little, but realized I couldn't listen to or answer his questions and shifted into helping mode.
He was a saint. Didn't complain about having to work in the dark, and helped me with all my deliveries. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there to help out.
I called out today because I couldn't function this morning (between the pain and the meds), but feel bad that I left R there having to pick up the slack.
It's been at least two years since I had a migraine serious enough to merit a trip to the ER and I forgot exactly how miserable that experience is. Today I have better meds, but had 3 exams to take. Two were online, the third I suffered through. I still can't see well out of my left eye, but think I did okay anyway. I'm too close to the end now to start missing things.
How I haven't died in a fit of nausea and head pounding agony I don't know. But I'm still here.
Tomorrow I have to go back to work so hopefully I'll be feeling better.
I'll post songs for the days I've missed when I'm feeling better. Right now I'm just not up to it.
I hope things are better in your world right now. I miss you terribly. More so than usual since I'm in pain and feeling particularly pathetic.
All my love.
Things were fine yesterday morning. I went to work, then to class, and returned to work feeling fine. By 11 I had a raging headache, but not so terrible that I was unable to work. My noon I was grinding my teeth, squinting my eyes and praying it was just a bad headache.
No such luck. By 12:15 the tunnel vision and vomiting started, I accepted it was a complex migraine and switched off the lights at work. Goose brought me my migraine meds and some sunglasses around 1, and I limped through the rest of the day in the dark. With my sunglasses on. With a shirt over my computer monitor (since it is apparently impossible to turn down the screen brightness on my work computer). And in total silence.
Poor R tried to ask me if I was okay and all I could say was "Shut up. I'm not mad at you, but you need to shut up."
There was a while there in the middle where I really thought I would have to go to the ER right then and be unable to finish my shift. I have had exactly one seizure in my life, and it was migraine related. I really believed I was about to have another. As a precaution I wrote down a brief medical history related to my migraines, what meds I was taking for my head and my (still terrible) ear infection, symptoms, who needed to be called and what to do in case something went wrong and gave it to R. He panicked a little, but realized I couldn't listen to or answer his questions and shifted into helping mode.
He was a saint. Didn't complain about having to work in the dark, and helped me with all my deliveries. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there to help out.
I called out today because I couldn't function this morning (between the pain and the meds), but feel bad that I left R there having to pick up the slack.
It's been at least two years since I had a migraine serious enough to merit a trip to the ER and I forgot exactly how miserable that experience is. Today I have better meds, but had 3 exams to take. Two were online, the third I suffered through. I still can't see well out of my left eye, but think I did okay anyway. I'm too close to the end now to start missing things.
How I haven't died in a fit of nausea and head pounding agony I don't know. But I'm still here.
Tomorrow I have to go back to work so hopefully I'll be feeling better.
I'll post songs for the days I've missed when I'm feeling better. Right now I'm just not up to it.
I hope things are better in your world right now. I miss you terribly. More so than usual since I'm in pain and feeling particularly pathetic.
All my love.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Sunday.
Happy Easter Dear Friend!
We did nothing.
Well, that's not true. I went to my dad's. Sister got drunk and tried to convince Dad and TOC that they needed to start smoking weed and get tattoos. HA. She-she came over and we watched Full Metal Jousting. And I cleaned all the fish tanks. I'm dreading the summer coming without you here. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Pride is in two weeks and I'm still unsure if I really want to go. I miss you terribly. More so every day and I think that you might be forced to come home soon to keep me from going crazy. I hope things are well.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
We did nothing.
Well, that's not true. I went to my dad's. Sister got drunk and tried to convince Dad and TOC that they needed to start smoking weed and get tattoos. HA. She-she came over and we watched Full Metal Jousting. And I cleaned all the fish tanks. I'm dreading the summer coming without you here. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Pride is in two weeks and I'm still unsure if I really want to go. I miss you terribly. More so every day and I think that you might be forced to come home soon to keep me from going crazy. I hope things are well.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
Song of the day for Saturday...
And I found out a long time ago what a woman can do to your soul
Ah, but she can't take you anyway
You don't already know how to go
and I got a peaceful, easy feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I'm already standing on the ground
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Song of the day Tuesday!
Census is still maxed out and I'm in the last stretch of the semester. Three weeks to go! Hooray! That being said, April is kicking my butt, hardcore. I've taken up running and I'm soooooo sad you're not here to run with me. :( Miss you terribly.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
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