Thursday

I went to bed just after 2 am Thursday morning and had to get up again at 4 to take a shower and get some last minute studying in for my 7am final.

At this point I was really just delirious with sleep deprivation. Walking was difficult as my brain was not communicating with my legs correctly. I felt drunk. Just totally smashed. I struggled to ride my bike through the throngs of people at ASU. I somehow finished my exam, but I'm not sure how much of it was right, or even on the correct subject. Oh well. It is what it is.

The day was miserable. It was a terrible blur of trying to get through the day. I broke down in tears several times for no apparent reason, other than that I was exhausted and needed to sleep.

My dad was curt with me on the phone when I tried to explain that I just couldn't do lunch with him this week because I was exhausted and stressed out and tired and generally unpleasant to be around. He said he didn't care, he would just bring me food and leave but I just couldn't handle it. It was all I could do to keep moving. I just wanted to be left alone. To not have to think or talk or move anymore.

Ever semester Dad and I do this dance, where I tell him I really just need to be left alone while I try to survive finals week and he struggles to wrap his head around it. Instead of saying 'okay' and leaving it be, he just keeps call/texting/emailing me for no reason and asking me why I'm being evasive. *facepalm*.

Dad is really my favorite person in the world, and our lunches together are the highlight of my weeks but not during finals. In fact, I don't really like anything during finals and I find everything everyone says to be a new and more horrific shade of irritating than the last.

I somehow made it through my shift. I came home and cranked out my take-home exam for my math class in under 3 hours and then went to class until 9. I came home, wrote my last paper for the semester and then died inside.


Song of the day is Bridge Over Troubled Water