Still frustrated...

...with the youtube/blogger issues. I am however, now able to post written posts...I think.

We'll see. Hopefully this works.

There's not a lot going on here in the desert, but I'll fill you in on the mediocrity anyway. :)

I recently stumbled across my old livejournal entries I exported to my computer back in 2006 before I deleted my account. As I was going through the 122 pages of entries two things occurred to me.

First, that I literally have NO IDEA how I survived my early twenties. You couldn't pay me to be 21 again. No way, no how. Such a fragile, broken creature I was. Whatever suffering I think I may be plagued with these days seems almost insignificant when held up against my bleeding-heart entries from my youth.

Second, I had no idea how carefully I'd documented so much of my life.

I never really thought of myself as much of a journal-er. I never kept a diary, at least not in any regular fashion as a kid. I mean, I had diaries, lots of them, and of course, the infamous fuzzy notebook, but I never could manage to stick to writing in them in anything even vaguely resembling a consistent manner. It just seemed like bad form to have my thoughts lying around where they could be used against me. So I'm sure you can imagine my shock when I found I had written 122 pages worth of entries in between September of 2005 and January of 2006. Craziness.

Even stranger, after I'd read through them all (and what a read that was!) I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd written a lot more posts than were in that file. After some research, I dug up a second livejournal account that stretched from March of 2006 clear through August of 2010. How on earth had I managed to forget (in the most total, and complete sense of the word) about something I'd so religiously updated for so long I'll never know.

Anywho, I (somehow, buy the grace of what Gods there may be) my login/password, exported the millions of entries and then deleted that account as well.

It's been a really strange experience. Even more so, perhaps, because I don't have any hand written journals from my childhood, and so am not adjusted to being able to go back and read over events that I have no recollection of. Still, I'm grateful for having found them, and for the perspective it's given me. Good, solid evidence that life goes on. That I am constantly changing, and that all bad things eventually pass. :)

Other than that, there's not much to report. The weather is lovely right now, mid 80's to low 90's. I've taken up mountain biking with the boys from work. I miss you fiercely all the days. And I'm excited for the summer to get here.

Hopefully this posts correctly.
All my love.