This is, without a doubt, the longest (short) week of my life.
Will it never end? Time seems to be going by insufferably slow. I keep trying to tell myself that time always passes at a constant rate, but my brain, the whole of my body really, just refuses to accept it. I remain convinced that the laws of physics no longer apply. That time is moving inconceivably slow. And that Friday may in fact, never, ever get here.
I got my official itinerary today, as well as notification that the water line burst along the North Rim, so there will be no water from the tunnel to Phantom Ranch. Lol. So I'm going to have to carry more water, and surrender my hopes of packing light. :)
I've been working on the playlist, I'm super pleased with the songs you've added!! Yay!! I'll try to make a youtube playlist so that you can listen to it too, but it's looooooooong. So we'll just play it by ear.
That's all I know.
Now I'm off to obsessively pack and re-pack my bags. :)
LOVE YOU!!!!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Tonto Natural Bridge
Just photos for now, because my butt is exhausted. These are just from the bridge, the rest of my adventure will have to wait until tomorrow. Miss you! Love!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Song for today.
Sometimes I forget how much I really, REALLY love this song...this whole album. And then I suddenly remember and spend weeks with it on repeat. Poe is awesome.
Do You Know...
...what I did today? Can you guess? That's right. Nothing.
I had grand plans for today, amazing plans even, and yet failed to accomplish any of them.
Instead I sat on the sofa. I worked on my hiking playlist. And I took a series of naps.
I went grocery shopping early in the morning. As I brought the last of the groceries in I was assaulted by a wasp. Man, do I hate wasps. (And by 'assaulted by' I mean, it flew within 35 feet of me, lol.) It spent the next four or so hours hunting crickets in the gravel outside my window, and I spent those hours alternating between being paralyzed with fear, needlessly swatting the air around me, obsessively researching wasps, and taking pictures of it with my shiny new camera (for both identification and archival purposes).
Thankfully you called me and distracted me. An aneurism was imminent.
When we got off the phone, exhausted from the wasp drama, I promptly passed the heck out.
Instead of dozing on the couch like the laziest creature on earth, I should have been out hiking. I should have gone to the White Tanks and at LEAST hiked the waterfall trail. I should have gone up to Tonto and hiked down to the bridge and read a book. I should have gone to the botanical garden to take pictures of the sunset.
But I didn't. Instead I sat on the couch.
Part of it was the wasp issue.
Part of it is the ongoing fear that I will accidentally hurt myself and not be able to complete my R2R.
My knee was acting up, on and off, this past week. As a result I'm slightly on edge, and possibly a little more paranoid than I need to be. At this point, however, I'm too invested in this adventure for it to hold me back. I WILL do this hike, and I WILL finish it, even if I have to cut the whole damn leg off and whittle myself a new one on the trail. It is going to happen. I swear on all things holy.
That's really all I know. I'm going crazy waiting for my hike to get here. And once it's done I'll be going crazy waiting until my trip up there arrives. It's basically an entire month of doldrums. Just space in between where I am and where I want to be. Lol.
At any rate, I miss your face. And I can't wait to see you. I hope your day was more adventurous than mine was, and that you were at least slightly more productive than I. Lovelovelove.
I had grand plans for today, amazing plans even, and yet failed to accomplish any of them.
Instead I sat on the sofa. I worked on my hiking playlist. And I took a series of naps.
I went grocery shopping early in the morning. As I brought the last of the groceries in I was assaulted by a wasp. Man, do I hate wasps. (And by 'assaulted by' I mean, it flew within 35 feet of me, lol.) It spent the next four or so hours hunting crickets in the gravel outside my window, and I spent those hours alternating between being paralyzed with fear, needlessly swatting the air around me, obsessively researching wasps, and taking pictures of it with my shiny new camera (for both identification and archival purposes).
Thankfully you called me and distracted me. An aneurism was imminent.
When we got off the phone, exhausted from the wasp drama, I promptly passed the heck out.
Instead of dozing on the couch like the laziest creature on earth, I should have been out hiking. I should have gone to the White Tanks and at LEAST hiked the waterfall trail. I should have gone up to Tonto and hiked down to the bridge and read a book. I should have gone to the botanical garden to take pictures of the sunset.
But I didn't. Instead I sat on the couch.
Part of it was the wasp issue.
Part of it is the ongoing fear that I will accidentally hurt myself and not be able to complete my R2R.
My knee was acting up, on and off, this past week. As a result I'm slightly on edge, and possibly a little more paranoid than I need to be. At this point, however, I'm too invested in this adventure for it to hold me back. I WILL do this hike, and I WILL finish it, even if I have to cut the whole damn leg off and whittle myself a new one on the trail. It is going to happen. I swear on all things holy.
That's really all I know. I'm going crazy waiting for my hike to get here. And once it's done I'll be going crazy waiting until my trip up there arrives. It's basically an entire month of doldrums. Just space in between where I am and where I want to be. Lol.
At any rate, I miss your face. And I can't wait to see you. I hope your day was more adventurous than mine was, and that you were at least slightly more productive than I. Lovelovelove.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Happy.
This song always makes me happy. :D
We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare
We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn’t dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing
It’ll go like this:
While my mother waters plants
My father loads his guns
He says death will give us back to God
Just like this setting sun is returned to this lonesome ocean
And then they splashed into the deep blue sea
It was a wonderful splash
We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run
We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge
And then we’ll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then we’ll see it, oh we’ll see it, we’ll see it, we’ll see it
Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world’s waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I’m happy just because
I found out I am really no one
We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare
We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn’t dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing
It’ll go like this:
While my mother waters plants
My father loads his guns
He says death will give us back to God
Just like this setting sun is returned to this lonesome ocean
And then they splashed into the deep blue sea
It was a wonderful splash
We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run
We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge
And then we’ll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then we’ll see it, oh we’ll see it, we’ll see it, we’ll see it
Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world’s waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I’m happy just because
I found out I am really no one
Sunday, May 19, 2013
10 Days.
Are you sick of my R2R updates yet Dear Friend? Lol. They've only just begun, I promise you. ;)
I leave in T-10 days and counting.
I am psyched!
To confirm your suspicions, yes, I've been doing nothing but obsessive research. Yes, I am way too involved in...everything I do. Yes, I've made a list of insects/reptiles/birds/animals I may encounter for identification purposes. Yes, I have made a list of everything that may bite/sting me. Yes, I have made a list of everything that bites/stings within a 50 mile radius that I probably won't encounter, you know...just in case. I like to know how to react to things.
Yes, I researched how many people are typically on the trail, how fast people complete this hike, how many people typically do a N to S R2R. Yes, I am neurotic as all get out.
I have read nearly every trip report I can find on the internet. I have scrutinized what all of those people took with them. I have read every account I can find of people dying in the Grand Canyon. I have read every report I can find of people needing evacuation from the canyon. I have read...everything.
I have watched all the youtube videos.
I don't know that any of this has helped me in any real way.
No, I cannot not do this. Obsessive research is my thing.
**On a side note here, regarding my propensity for obsessive research, it REALLY bothers me when people fail to obsessively research things. Furthermore, when said people are then flummoxed by something they see, or something that happens, or whatever due to their lack of preparatory research, and then instead of going home and doing said research, post questions on facebook asking other people to do the research for them, my blood boils. And then I ALWAYS end up doing the research. Why? Because I'm human, and as such I strive to be constantly learning. If I don't know something, I look it up. I need to look it up. If I don't know what a word means, I look up the definition. If I see some sort of critter and I don't know what it is, I google the heck out of it until I can identify it. I am terminally irritated that this is not the norm. And yes, I know, I know, I need to work on letting go of things and accepting that other people don't do things my way, but it's so hard.
/endrant
Tomorrow I begin test packing and weighing my bag. I'm aiming for under 18 pounds of weight, but I need to eat a lot on the trail to keep myself from bonking out, so we'll just have to see how everything pans out.
I'm also test eating foods. Among my discoveries is that while I enjoy both the flavor and texture of sardines, my mouth does not approve of the way they look. The result it that it just straight up refuses to let me swallow them. (I know we discussed this at length already, but I'm recording the issue for posterity's sake. You know, should I forget and think sardines are a good plan...) I'm trying to see if I can come up with a solution to this problem. Possibly by making some sort of tuna salad-esque creation out of pureed sardines...but so far the results have been less than satisfactory.
With less than 10 days remaining between where I'm standing, and the trip up, planning consumes my every waking moment.
Planning, and of course, missing your face! Gah! I wish you were going with me. Can you imagine the sort of deranged intensity we would bring out of one another on the trail? And the obscene number of pictures the two of us would take?? I swear on all things holy Dear Friend, that the two of us will do this hike one day. AND that we will celebrate our victory with a moonlight kayak trip down the salt river. Pinky Promise.
For now, I'm going to go run the stairs with 20 pounds of water in my pack until my legs go all noodle-y on me. Wish me luck.
All my love.
I leave in T-10 days and counting.
I am psyched!
To confirm your suspicions, yes, I've been doing nothing but obsessive research. Yes, I am way too involved in...everything I do. Yes, I've made a list of insects/reptiles/birds/animals I may encounter for identification purposes. Yes, I have made a list of everything that may bite/sting me. Yes, I have made a list of everything that bites/stings within a 50 mile radius that I probably won't encounter, you know...just in case. I like to know how to react to things.
Yes, I researched how many people are typically on the trail, how fast people complete this hike, how many people typically do a N to S R2R. Yes, I am neurotic as all get out.
I have read nearly every trip report I can find on the internet. I have scrutinized what all of those people took with them. I have read every account I can find of people dying in the Grand Canyon. I have read every report I can find of people needing evacuation from the canyon. I have read...everything.
I have watched all the youtube videos.
I don't know that any of this has helped me in any real way.
No, I cannot not do this. Obsessive research is my thing.
**On a side note here, regarding my propensity for obsessive research, it REALLY bothers me when people fail to obsessively research things. Furthermore, when said people are then flummoxed by something they see, or something that happens, or whatever due to their lack of preparatory research, and then instead of going home and doing said research, post questions on facebook asking other people to do the research for them, my blood boils. And then I ALWAYS end up doing the research. Why? Because I'm human, and as such I strive to be constantly learning. If I don't know something, I look it up. I need to look it up. If I don't know what a word means, I look up the definition. If I see some sort of critter and I don't know what it is, I google the heck out of it until I can identify it. I am terminally irritated that this is not the norm. And yes, I know, I know, I need to work on letting go of things and accepting that other people don't do things my way, but it's so hard.
/endrant
Tomorrow I begin test packing and weighing my bag. I'm aiming for under 18 pounds of weight, but I need to eat a lot on the trail to keep myself from bonking out, so we'll just have to see how everything pans out.
I'm also test eating foods. Among my discoveries is that while I enjoy both the flavor and texture of sardines, my mouth does not approve of the way they look. The result it that it just straight up refuses to let me swallow them. (I know we discussed this at length already, but I'm recording the issue for posterity's sake. You know, should I forget and think sardines are a good plan...) I'm trying to see if I can come up with a solution to this problem. Possibly by making some sort of tuna salad-esque creation out of pureed sardines...but so far the results have been less than satisfactory.
With less than 10 days remaining between where I'm standing, and the trip up, planning consumes my every waking moment.
Planning, and of course, missing your face! Gah! I wish you were going with me. Can you imagine the sort of deranged intensity we would bring out of one another on the trail? And the obscene number of pictures the two of us would take?? I swear on all things holy Dear Friend, that the two of us will do this hike one day. AND that we will celebrate our victory with a moonlight kayak trip down the salt river. Pinky Promise.
For now, I'm going to go run the stairs with 20 pounds of water in my pack until my legs go all noodle-y on me. Wish me luck.
All my love.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Grand Canyon Memories.
As I prepare for my R2R hike, I feel like there is one childhood story that needs telling.
When I was a child, my family decided to take a trip to the Grand Canyon. It was winter, and the trip would serve dual purposes. First, we would all get to marvel at the awesomeness that is the Grand Canyon, and secondly, we would get to play in the snow.
We borrowed some snow suits from some of the neighborhood children we were friends with and set out. My memories of most of the trip have been lost to time, and I'm sure to the trauma of having to ride (anywhere) in the car with my mother for 5 hours. What I do remember is this...
We got there and took some pictures. There was relatively little snow on the ground, which was a blessing for me, since I disliked how cold snow inevitably makes my hands. I remember the gift shop, and my dad buying me a heart-shaped worry stone.
Here we are, blissfully unaware of how my life was about to change forever:
At some point, the decision was made to hike a little ways down the trail. My mother objected, she never had the adventurous spirit my dad did, and so we left her at the top while the three of us began our descent.
There was snow sprinkled about on the rim, and on the sides of the trail. The trail itself was mostly clear, but there were isolated patches of ice. This should have been a red flag, clumsy child that I was, but we were high on adventure, bravado, and the knowledge that my dad had hiked the canyon a million times, so we continued undeterred. We rounded the third switchback, and my feet flew out from under me.
I slipped.
What actually happened, I can't say. But in my eight year old mind, I fell off the edge and was left dangling into the mouth of the canyon, clinging desperately to my dear father's ankle. In my child's mind it was life-or death. I KNOW that I did grab his ankle. I distinctly remember the feeling of my tiny, frozen hands against his boot, and staring at the tread of his shoes against the ground. Whether or not I was actually over the edge, my body dangling in the cold winter air, facing my own mortality and impending doom, no one can say. (Logic however, says that since there were switchbacks in the trail, I wouldn't have fallen THAT far.)
Dad pulled me to my feet, and we walked back up. I'm sure I was probably in hysterics, given my reaction to Space Mountain the preceding summer, but I don't actually recall. We never spoke of it again. And we certainly didn't mention it to my mother.
What I do know, is that this incident cemented two beliefs firmly into my supple young mind: Snow is evil, and the Grand Canyon is a death trap.
I did return to the canyon later with my grandparents, but stayed dutifully above the rim, and far from the railing at the looking points, still shaken, and terrified the canyon would take me at any moment. It didn't but I'm sure that's because I didn't allow the opportunity to present itself. I left believing that it was still out there...waiting for me.
My pathological fear of snow still persists. I am firm in my belief that it is evil, and one of the harbingers of the apocalypse. And truth be told, I'm not entirely convinced that the Grand Canyon isn't out to get me. But at this point, it's time to battle this out. I ventured out into the snow (accidentally, but ventured out nonetheless) this winter, and survived (despite the copious sets of MASSIVE bear tracks- shouldn't bears hibernate? I feel like they should have been hibernating...). Out of the two things, snow was (IS) the bigger issue, so if I can face the snow, I'm more than ready to battle the canyon.
Childhood memories be damned! I'm headed back, and hopefully this time, I'll be a little more sure footed. :)
When I was a child, my family decided to take a trip to the Grand Canyon. It was winter, and the trip would serve dual purposes. First, we would all get to marvel at the awesomeness that is the Grand Canyon, and secondly, we would get to play in the snow.
We borrowed some snow suits from some of the neighborhood children we were friends with and set out. My memories of most of the trip have been lost to time, and I'm sure to the trauma of having to ride (anywhere) in the car with my mother for 5 hours. What I do remember is this...
We got there and took some pictures. There was relatively little snow on the ground, which was a blessing for me, since I disliked how cold snow inevitably makes my hands. I remember the gift shop, and my dad buying me a heart-shaped worry stone.
Here we are, blissfully unaware of how my life was about to change forever:
At some point, the decision was made to hike a little ways down the trail. My mother objected, she never had the adventurous spirit my dad did, and so we left her at the top while the three of us began our descent.
There was snow sprinkled about on the rim, and on the sides of the trail. The trail itself was mostly clear, but there were isolated patches of ice. This should have been a red flag, clumsy child that I was, but we were high on adventure, bravado, and the knowledge that my dad had hiked the canyon a million times, so we continued undeterred. We rounded the third switchback, and my feet flew out from under me.
I slipped.
What actually happened, I can't say. But in my eight year old mind, I fell off the edge and was left dangling into the mouth of the canyon, clinging desperately to my dear father's ankle. In my child's mind it was life-or death. I KNOW that I did grab his ankle. I distinctly remember the feeling of my tiny, frozen hands against his boot, and staring at the tread of his shoes against the ground. Whether or not I was actually over the edge, my body dangling in the cold winter air, facing my own mortality and impending doom, no one can say. (Logic however, says that since there were switchbacks in the trail, I wouldn't have fallen THAT far.)
Dad pulled me to my feet, and we walked back up. I'm sure I was probably in hysterics, given my reaction to Space Mountain the preceding summer, but I don't actually recall. We never spoke of it again. And we certainly didn't mention it to my mother.
What I do know, is that this incident cemented two beliefs firmly into my supple young mind: Snow is evil, and the Grand Canyon is a death trap.
I did return to the canyon later with my grandparents, but stayed dutifully above the rim, and far from the railing at the looking points, still shaken, and terrified the canyon would take me at any moment. It didn't but I'm sure that's because I didn't allow the opportunity to present itself. I left believing that it was still out there...waiting for me.
My pathological fear of snow still persists. I am firm in my belief that it is evil, and one of the harbingers of the apocalypse. And truth be told, I'm not entirely convinced that the Grand Canyon isn't out to get me. But at this point, it's time to battle this out. I ventured out into the snow (accidentally, but ventured out nonetheless) this winter, and survived (despite the copious sets of MASSIVE bear tracks- shouldn't bears hibernate? I feel like they should have been hibernating...). Out of the two things, snow was (IS) the bigger issue, so if I can face the snow, I'm more than ready to battle the canyon.
Childhood memories be damned! I'm headed back, and hopefully this time, I'll be a little more sure footed. :)
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Mleh.
Oh Dear Friend, it seems like there's nothing going on here. Or rather there is so much going on, but all of it is either not internet worthy or doesn't belong on the internet, take your pick. So instead, what follows is a chronicle of the hum-drum life of a simple desert girl, languishing in the now-time in between where she is, and when the adventures begin.
I'm back at bikram classes daily. I've been going with a friend, but I think that I need to take a step back (for at least the moment) and recollect myself. There are a lot of reasons for this I suppose, though none of them are worth mentioning here. It's just that constant compulsive need to evaluate and re-evaluate where I need my life to go, and how the decisions I make allow me to move toward or away from it. It's just business. For me at least. For the next few days I'll continue my yoga-ing solo.
At any rate, yoga is blissful, though I'm at a different studio and the rules are slightly more relaxed (which I don't like as much, structure-loving fool that I am,) and the room is for sure, hotter. One instructor in particular's classes are always sweltering, and I can't figure out if it's that she spends a lot of time talking off-script, that the classes are always packed, or that she opens the doors less. It's probably some combination of the above. Anyway, it's a challenge, even for someone like me who just adores the heat.
My knee issue is infinitely better since starting yoga again. I have almost no pain, even going down flight after flight of stairs in the morning, and at this point it's hard to discern if the remaining pain is actual pain, or simply lingering soreness in my hamstrings from all the stretching. Either way, I am pleased.
I've toned down my hiking adventures as the R2R trip approaches, mostly because I'm concerned about irritating my knee any further between now and then. In it's stead, I've been mountain biking with the boys. Monday testosterone levels may have been a little high for all of us, as we rode MUCH faster than usual, and I struggled on a few sharp turns. This is a technique issue, as by the end of our hot, hot ride, I was leaning with the turns, rather than staying upright. My back tire kept slipping out, and how on earth I managed not to totally eat it is beyond me. At one point on the return loop, there's a sharp turn before a large (rocky) drop (we were riding at Papago, currently). I took to turn, felt my back tire slip out, and braced for impact, certain that I not only was going to eat dirt, but that the guy behind me was most definitely going to run my sorry ass over. Ha! As it turned out, I somehow recovered my balance, and everything was just peachy. It was the first and only time I've taken the time to brace myself, convinced that I was facing impending doom.
I'm going to have to make a mental note to scale back on the intensity here for a bit, as I can't risk crashing and seriously injuring myself. Scaling back is not my forte, but I'm determined to try my hardest. That first crash is inevitable.
What else, what else...
Work is...work. More than that it's summertime work, so the census is down and I'm buried in side projects that will take weeks to complete. It is an issue that continually bristles me since I am constantly getting email reminders about low census, productivity, and the reduced number of allotted hours in the work week. It's much easier for me to just buckle down and tackle things from start to finish in say, a 16 hour stretch, without so much as pausing to pee, than it is for me to work on things a little here and a little there. I wish I weren't so all or nothing, but I just hate having half-finished projects lying around. Ick.
The dog is extra snuggle-y these days, even now she's curled up in my lap, pleading with me to move to the much more fluffy bed. Oscar is becoming increasingly aloof, though heart-meltingly sweet when he feels like being cuddly. Mittens continues to ping back and forth between vicious escape artist/general wild beast and lovely-dovey lap cat. Her new game is to bolt out the door every time it is opened and run under the nearest car and start crying. (As opposed to previously, when her game was to run 20 feet and then roll around meowing until I came to collect her.) Then when you get down on the ground near the car, she chatters her teeth at you in a way that can only be described as pure mockery, before bolting to the next car. This goes on until I manage to somehow outsmart her, and drag her out from under a car, or she starts to panic when she realizes she actually hates all the outside places and runs back to the door. I'm eternally grateful that Oscar is pleased with his status as house cat, and makes no attempts to escape.
I can't wait to do the R2R, and more than that, I can't wait to see YOU. It's the doldrums now, waiting.
The desert is hot, but lovely, and every time I get the oven-y tight-skinned feeling, I think of you, and how you are the only person I know that appreciates Arizona the same way that I do. I miss your face, and I hope things are lovely.
All my love.
I'm back at bikram classes daily. I've been going with a friend, but I think that I need to take a step back (for at least the moment) and recollect myself. There are a lot of reasons for this I suppose, though none of them are worth mentioning here. It's just that constant compulsive need to evaluate and re-evaluate where I need my life to go, and how the decisions I make allow me to move toward or away from it. It's just business. For me at least. For the next few days I'll continue my yoga-ing solo.
At any rate, yoga is blissful, though I'm at a different studio and the rules are slightly more relaxed (which I don't like as much, structure-loving fool that I am,) and the room is for sure, hotter. One instructor in particular's classes are always sweltering, and I can't figure out if it's that she spends a lot of time talking off-script, that the classes are always packed, or that she opens the doors less. It's probably some combination of the above. Anyway, it's a challenge, even for someone like me who just adores the heat.
My knee issue is infinitely better since starting yoga again. I have almost no pain, even going down flight after flight of stairs in the morning, and at this point it's hard to discern if the remaining pain is actual pain, or simply lingering soreness in my hamstrings from all the stretching. Either way, I am pleased.
I've toned down my hiking adventures as the R2R trip approaches, mostly because I'm concerned about irritating my knee any further between now and then. In it's stead, I've been mountain biking with the boys. Monday testosterone levels may have been a little high for all of us, as we rode MUCH faster than usual, and I struggled on a few sharp turns. This is a technique issue, as by the end of our hot, hot ride, I was leaning with the turns, rather than staying upright. My back tire kept slipping out, and how on earth I managed not to totally eat it is beyond me. At one point on the return loop, there's a sharp turn before a large (rocky) drop (we were riding at Papago, currently). I took to turn, felt my back tire slip out, and braced for impact, certain that I not only was going to eat dirt, but that the guy behind me was most definitely going to run my sorry ass over. Ha! As it turned out, I somehow recovered my balance, and everything was just peachy. It was the first and only time I've taken the time to brace myself, convinced that I was facing impending doom.
I'm going to have to make a mental note to scale back on the intensity here for a bit, as I can't risk crashing and seriously injuring myself. Scaling back is not my forte, but I'm determined to try my hardest. That first crash is inevitable.
What else, what else...
Work is...work. More than that it's summertime work, so the census is down and I'm buried in side projects that will take weeks to complete. It is an issue that continually bristles me since I am constantly getting email reminders about low census, productivity, and the reduced number of allotted hours in the work week. It's much easier for me to just buckle down and tackle things from start to finish in say, a 16 hour stretch, without so much as pausing to pee, than it is for me to work on things a little here and a little there. I wish I weren't so all or nothing, but I just hate having half-finished projects lying around. Ick.
The dog is extra snuggle-y these days, even now she's curled up in my lap, pleading with me to move to the much more fluffy bed. Oscar is becoming increasingly aloof, though heart-meltingly sweet when he feels like being cuddly. Mittens continues to ping back and forth between vicious escape artist/general wild beast and lovely-dovey lap cat. Her new game is to bolt out the door every time it is opened and run under the nearest car and start crying. (As opposed to previously, when her game was to run 20 feet and then roll around meowing until I came to collect her.) Then when you get down on the ground near the car, she chatters her teeth at you in a way that can only be described as pure mockery, before bolting to the next car. This goes on until I manage to somehow outsmart her, and drag her out from under a car, or she starts to panic when she realizes she actually hates all the outside places and runs back to the door. I'm eternally grateful that Oscar is pleased with his status as house cat, and makes no attempts to escape.
I can't wait to do the R2R, and more than that, I can't wait to see YOU. It's the doldrums now, waiting.
The desert is hot, but lovely, and every time I get the oven-y tight-skinned feeling, I think of you, and how you are the only person I know that appreciates Arizona the same way that I do. I miss your face, and I hope things are lovely.
All my love.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
For reasons I don't entirely understand...
...I am both exhausted and famished today. All I want to do is eat and sleep. And essentially, that's all I've done.
I feel like a bear. The time for hibernation is (clearly) approaching, and in preparation, I must devour ALL THE THINGS.
I have been stumbling around in a sleepy, zombie-like state. Bursts of energy coming only when there is the promise of food in the near future. Once obtained, I devour it as quickly as possible, sans utensils, and then collapse back into the schizophrenic slumber that has punctuated the whole of my day. Narcoleptic, or some such nonsense.
I tried to be productive. I went to the store in search of things, but failed to obtain them. I did however, get a new camelback backpack, since the one I had was not large enough. I attempted to do the laundry, but now I just have a basket of clean laundry with a cat passed out in it, next to the basket of dirty laundry with the other cat passed out in it. Lol.
You can't half do laundry, people. If it isn't put away immediately the cats WILL find it.
I also cleaned and prepped some of the trilobites from the jam last year, but didn't really get much done.
I'm not sure why I'm so sleepy, or so hungry, but I do know that it's time to eat some more food and then pass the heck out. I am beat.
I feel like a bear. The time for hibernation is (clearly) approaching, and in preparation, I must devour ALL THE THINGS.
I have been stumbling around in a sleepy, zombie-like state. Bursts of energy coming only when there is the promise of food in the near future. Once obtained, I devour it as quickly as possible, sans utensils, and then collapse back into the schizophrenic slumber that has punctuated the whole of my day. Narcoleptic, or some such nonsense.
I tried to be productive. I went to the store in search of things, but failed to obtain them. I did however, get a new camelback backpack, since the one I had was not large enough. I attempted to do the laundry, but now I just have a basket of clean laundry with a cat passed out in it, next to the basket of dirty laundry with the other cat passed out in it. Lol.
You can't half do laundry, people. If it isn't put away immediately the cats WILL find it.
I also cleaned and prepped some of the trilobites from the jam last year, but didn't really get much done.
I'm not sure why I'm so sleepy, or so hungry, but I do know that it's time to eat some more food and then pass the heck out. I am beat.
Happy Mother's Day
I just wanted to take the time to say that my dad is the best. He's the best dad anyone could want, and for as long as I can remember, the best mom too. He's worked tirelessly at putting up with my crap for as long as I can remember. He loves me always, even when I'm difficult and stubborn and obnoxious and downright baffling, without conditions.
My dad more than makes up for all the millions of ways my mother continually failed me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I may not have a mom, but I have the single greatest dad ever created. I love him endlessly, and I hope that one day I am half as fantastic at anything as he is at being my dad.
Happy Mother's Day, Daddy. You're the best parent anyone could ever have.
Happy Mother's Day to my other mothers too. TOC, who makes me crazy some days, but loves me nonetheless, and to Boss Lady L, who watched over me daily through five of the most troubled years of my life and helped me become the person I am today.
I hope your Mother's Day celebrations are lovely, Dear Friend. I miss you terribly. All my love.
My dad more than makes up for all the millions of ways my mother continually failed me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I may not have a mom, but I have the single greatest dad ever created. I love him endlessly, and I hope that one day I am half as fantastic at anything as he is at being my dad.
Happy Mother's Day, Daddy. You're the best parent anyone could ever have.
Happy Mother's Day to my other mothers too. TOC, who makes me crazy some days, but loves me nonetheless, and to Boss Lady L, who watched over me daily through five of the most troubled years of my life and helped me become the person I am today.
I hope your Mother's Day celebrations are lovely, Dear Friend. I miss you terribly. All my love.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Fun With Knee Injuries.
Oh Dear Friend, this morning we hiked Squaw (Piestewa) Peak.
I got up early and made it work by 6:45 to meet R. As anticipated, he was running on Filipino Standard Time, which meant he arrived at 7:30. :)
E and his wife had called to let us know they were already on the trail, so R told them to go on ahead.
It was packed by the time we got there. (This is the most hiked mountain in AZ, with an estimated 10,000 visitors A DAY). We did manage to find a parking spot reasonably near the trailhead, and headed out. We ended up doing the summit trail, even though it's marked as 'difficult/strenuous', but it's only 1.2 miles (each way), so we thought, what the heck.
The way up was a fun climb. My knee wasn't nagging me too bad until the last quarter mile or so, when the trail got really steep. E and his wife met us as we were about half way up and they were about half way down. He walked most of the way down with his wife and then RAN up the mountain back to us, because he his a ninja, or a billy goat, or some inhuman combination of the two. He then continued to run ahead of us and take pictures, which I am eternally grateful for.
We hung out at the top for a while, and I was harassed continually by an overly amorous rock squirrel who desperately wanted some of my cliff bar. At one point it dove into my lap and stared longingly into the depths of my soul, attempting to make the sort of connection that would persuade me to feed it.
I was startled.
I felt it hit my legs and all I could think was 'Oh God! Something is on me!! It must be a tarantula hawk!! RED ALERT!!'
It however, was not a tarantula hawk.
It was a rock squirrel.
The weight of it should have been a clue.
No wasp weighs that much.
I have never been so relieved in all my life.
I did take some video of said squirrel, pleading for scraps, but I haven't uploaded it yet. I'll post it for you once I do.
The hike down was significantly less fun. My knee was agonizingly tender, and unwilling to bend in the way it was designed to. I went down most of the trail sideways, continually being passed by crazy men running up and down the mountain in masks to reduce the available oxygen, and unbearably dumb party girls wearing almost nothing, still stinking of tequila, begging their boyfriends to carry them the rest of the way. Seriously.
R was a saint to put up with my slow pace.
We made it back down with very little whining on my part, though I did wince more than I'd like to admit to. Walking on flat ground proved to be even harder than the decent, but I'd anticipated as much. It's the 30 or so degree knee bend that I'm struggling with. The large steps down are not a problem.
We went to LoLo's for some chicken and waffles, ate one of the most delicious meals of all my life, and then went home and passed out on the couch.
Now I'm awake, starving, and missing you terribly. I also really desperately need a bath. Pictures soon. Pinky promise.
All my love.
I got up early and made it work by 6:45 to meet R. As anticipated, he was running on Filipino Standard Time, which meant he arrived at 7:30. :)
E and his wife had called to let us know they were already on the trail, so R told them to go on ahead.
It was packed by the time we got there. (This is the most hiked mountain in AZ, with an estimated 10,000 visitors A DAY). We did manage to find a parking spot reasonably near the trailhead, and headed out. We ended up doing the summit trail, even though it's marked as 'difficult/strenuous', but it's only 1.2 miles (each way), so we thought, what the heck.
The way up was a fun climb. My knee wasn't nagging me too bad until the last quarter mile or so, when the trail got really steep. E and his wife met us as we were about half way up and they were about half way down. He walked most of the way down with his wife and then RAN up the mountain back to us, because he his a ninja, or a billy goat, or some inhuman combination of the two. He then continued to run ahead of us and take pictures, which I am eternally grateful for.
We hung out at the top for a while, and I was harassed continually by an overly amorous rock squirrel who desperately wanted some of my cliff bar. At one point it dove into my lap and stared longingly into the depths of my soul, attempting to make the sort of connection that would persuade me to feed it.
I was startled.
I felt it hit my legs and all I could think was 'Oh God! Something is on me!! It must be a tarantula hawk!! RED ALERT!!'
It however, was not a tarantula hawk.
It was a rock squirrel.
The weight of it should have been a clue.
No wasp weighs that much.
I have never been so relieved in all my life.
I did take some video of said squirrel, pleading for scraps, but I haven't uploaded it yet. I'll post it for you once I do.
The hike down was significantly less fun. My knee was agonizingly tender, and unwilling to bend in the way it was designed to. I went down most of the trail sideways, continually being passed by crazy men running up and down the mountain in masks to reduce the available oxygen, and unbearably dumb party girls wearing almost nothing, still stinking of tequila, begging their boyfriends to carry them the rest of the way. Seriously.
R was a saint to put up with my slow pace.
We made it back down with very little whining on my part, though I did wince more than I'd like to admit to. Walking on flat ground proved to be even harder than the decent, but I'd anticipated as much. It's the 30 or so degree knee bend that I'm struggling with. The large steps down are not a problem.
We went to LoLo's for some chicken and waffles, ate one of the most delicious meals of all my life, and then went home and passed out on the couch.
Now I'm awake, starving, and missing you terribly. I also really desperately need a bath. Pictures soon. Pinky promise.
All my love.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Codpiece.
Oh dear friend, how the mighty have fallen.
Remember my excitement about the R2R trip that I wrote about just days ago? Well now it's in jeopardy. I seem to have injured my knee. It has gotten progressively worse since the Mt. Wrightson trip, and now it feels fine, right up until the point where it feels agonizingly painful.
I descended that mountain way too fast. I knew that while I was doing it. I quite seriously, ran down whole stretches of the trail. That's why I fell, and that's why my knee is all ookidy.
It's iliotibial band syndrome. Of that I am 100% positive, which is really common overuse injury, and not a serious one, but terribly frustrating. There's no swelling at least, so that's a blessing.
I went to bikram yesterday, and that was VERY helpful. However, I did not go today, (or rather, I tried to go today, but neglected to check the schedule and missed the last class by 15 minutes) and things have gone right back to being terrible. I intend to take it easy for the next couple of weeks, but first I have to survive the hike up Squaw (now Piestewa) Peak hike tomorrow.
And no, I won't cancel it, because I already committed to it, and I'm nothing if not stubborn.
I know.
I can hear you screaming 'NO! DON'T DO IT' at your computer screen. I'm screaming it at myself on and off too. But a promise is a promise. Plus, we're only going to do a short non-strenuous hike anyway. R from work isn't ready for the summit trail, so we're taking it easy.
Strangely, my knee hurts less when I'm going up or down, and much more when I'm just walking on even ground. With any luck with some rest, and it will heal up fine in no time. *fingers crossed*
Remember my excitement about the R2R trip that I wrote about just days ago? Well now it's in jeopardy. I seem to have injured my knee. It has gotten progressively worse since the Mt. Wrightson trip, and now it feels fine, right up until the point where it feels agonizingly painful.
I descended that mountain way too fast. I knew that while I was doing it. I quite seriously, ran down whole stretches of the trail. That's why I fell, and that's why my knee is all ookidy.
It's iliotibial band syndrome. Of that I am 100% positive, which is really common overuse injury, and not a serious one, but terribly frustrating. There's no swelling at least, so that's a blessing.
I went to bikram yesterday, and that was VERY helpful. However, I did not go today, (or rather, I tried to go today, but neglected to check the schedule and missed the last class by 15 minutes) and things have gone right back to being terrible. I intend to take it easy for the next couple of weeks, but first I have to survive the hike up Squaw (now Piestewa) Peak hike tomorrow.
And no, I won't cancel it, because I already committed to it, and I'm nothing if not stubborn.
I know.
I can hear you screaming 'NO! DON'T DO IT' at your computer screen. I'm screaming it at myself on and off too. But a promise is a promise. Plus, we're only going to do a short non-strenuous hike anyway. R from work isn't ready for the summit trail, so we're taking it easy.
Strangely, my knee hurts less when I'm going up or down, and much more when I'm just walking on even ground. With any luck with some rest, and it will heal up fine in no time. *fingers crossed*
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
The Big Decision.
Edit: This is why finishing posts is important. I started working on this one in the middle of last week and then lost interest half way through yet again. However, some of this information is now relevant, as I referenced my R2R hike in my last post and then did not explain it. I'd write a whole additional post, or go back and explain it in the last one, but that seems like a lot of additional work when the groundwork is already done.
So, as a monument to my laziness and half-focused attitude as of late, here is an only half-finished post for your amusement. Love you.
I want to do longer and more challenging hikes, but my friends fall into two groups; those not willing to spend 8+ hours hiking, and those who are devoted to insane canyoneering. I clearly am not cut out to hike with either group.
Two days ago, while pondering this issue, I found and joined a hiking club.
I know.
You're reading this in stunned silence.
I however, am capable of short bursts of intense social interaction, I promise.
This clearly is not a bad plan.
Speaking of bad plans....lol, I've decided to hike the Grand Canyon, rim to rim (R2R). That's all the way down one side and all the way up the other...in one shot...in less than a month. (With my group, not alone, that would be insane.)
It's going to be amazing.
Or terrible.
It's going to be amazing or terrible.
Or possibly both.
Either way I am BEYOND excited.
And frantically trying to prep appropriately.
My dad, apparently, used to lead this hike, because he has done all things cool and/or awesome at some point in his life, and then neglected to tell me about them. ;) I love my dad. He is a perpetual bad-ass, haven gone before me in all things amazing. One day, if I work hard, I will be almost as cool as he is.
I'm pleased about having a goal, particularly since it's one that feels (from here at least) like it may just be impossible. (Though my dad assures me that it's not, and that any idiot can do it. He is forgetting of course, that he and I, cut from the same cloth as we are, are magical creatures and more stubborn and hyperfocused than the average bear.) Hopefully this will keep me entertained and challenged for at least the next month...hopefully.
So, as a monument to my laziness and half-focused attitude as of late, here is an only half-finished post for your amusement. Love you.
I want to do longer and more challenging hikes, but my friends fall into two groups; those not willing to spend 8+ hours hiking, and those who are devoted to insane canyoneering. I clearly am not cut out to hike with either group.
Two days ago, while pondering this issue, I found and joined a hiking club.
I know.
You're reading this in stunned silence.
I however, am capable of short bursts of intense social interaction, I promise.
This clearly is not a bad plan.
Speaking of bad plans....lol, I've decided to hike the Grand Canyon, rim to rim (R2R). That's all the way down one side and all the way up the other...in one shot...in less than a month. (With my group, not alone, that would be insane.)
It's going to be amazing.
Or terrible.
It's going to be amazing or terrible.
Or possibly both.
Either way I am BEYOND excited.
And frantically trying to prep appropriately.
My dad, apparently, used to lead this hike, because he has done all things cool and/or awesome at some point in his life, and then neglected to tell me about them. ;) I love my dad. He is a perpetual bad-ass, haven gone before me in all things amazing. One day, if I work hard, I will be almost as cool as he is.
I'm pleased about having a goal, particularly since it's one that feels (from here at least) like it may just be impossible. (Though my dad assures me that it's not, and that any idiot can do it. He is forgetting of course, that he and I, cut from the same cloth as we are, are magical creatures and more stubborn and hyperfocused than the average bear.) Hopefully this will keep me entertained and challenged for at least the next month...hopefully.
Social Interactions.
As promised here's a recount of the first group hike I attended.
I RSVP'd for this hike, emboldened by the fact that I had attended a social meeting and it had not gone poorly. I however, forgot to factor in that the meeting was held in an establishment which I am familiar with, which I drove myself to, which (since it was a meeting after all) was structured and had an expected flow (per Roberts Rules of Order), had predetermined topics of conversation, and it was held during happy hour, so I could nurse my margarita to keep my nerves at bay. The hike had none of these things. No expected conversational order, no pre-chosen topics of discussion, it was not in a familiar location, I did not know these people (none of them had gone to the previous meeting), we were hiking hours out of town in an area I was not familiar with, we were going to carpool, and it most definitely was not happy hour. (The list of concerns I had is actually much longer than this, but I'll stop here for brevity's sake.) Yikes. Planning fail on my part.
Anyway...
We all met in the parking lot of a nearby establishment to figure out the carpool configurations, and I ended up totally socially overwhelmed and muttered that I was terrified of people and would just drive myself. Everyone was very kind and tried to persuade me to ride with other people and 'be social' but instead I just slunk away in the chaos and drove myself. It was painfully awkward and I strongly considered driving myself home to cry over my inability to interact with other people, but instead, struggled to push myself through the intense fight or flight reaction I was having and followed them down to Sahuarita. In truth, I spent most of my time talking to myself out loud, going over what I would say if anyone mentioned me driving on my own, and trying to justify/spin my own painful blend of awkward in a way that seemed more quirky and mystical than unsociable hermit. In the end, no one mentioned it and the trip worked out really well.
Everyone was super nice and friendly, and no one really seemed to notice how inadequate my small talk skills are. Because I stop so frequently to take pictures I separated myself from the group fairly early on. I was in the rear, but not dead last, there were two people behind me with a dog, which made me feel safe. I hiked on, happy as a clam, secure in the knowledge that if I fell off a cliff or got mauled by a bear SOMEONE would know. That was marvelous.
It was a difficult hike, five miles uphill to the summit, climbing about 4,000 feet. As usual, the first hour or so was the worst as I struggled to find my hiking legs and adjust to the elevation. I reached the summit just as the group was finishing their lunch. I was actually the last one to reach it as one of the two people behind me got altitude sickness, and the other lapped me in an effort to let the others know. He passed me maybe 10 minutes before I reached the top. They all congratulated me when I got there, and offered to stay while I ate, but I told them to go on ahead. I didn't want to hold anyone up, and I really wanted a few moments alone to marvel at my accomplishment. I added my name to the list in the box, took some pictures and began the march down.
For a while I was concerned that there was no one behind me. I practically ran the first two miles back down. I could feel all my toes blistering as they slammed into the front of my shoes, and all of my toenails were sore. Eventually though, I reached a point where I could see some of the others and I felt much better.
At some point I slipped and fell. It hurt. A lot. But not so desperately that I had to slow down. The trail for the first half of the descent is steep and covered in loose rock (it's actually steep the entire way, but the loose rock gives way to a dirt path about half way). I stepped on my ankle improperly a couple of times, and slipped a couple more. At some point I slid and hit my foot on a rock with such a force, and at such an impressively specific angle, that I felt the very large blister on my big toe rupture.
I THREW my shoe off. Ouch. I had a blister kit on me and took care of the blister in question, being careful not to look at the other blisters on my toes. Ignorance is bliss, you know. I crammed my foot back in my shoe and pressed onward. I caught up to the two people in front of me, which in my mind made up for my slow ascent. We caught up with a few more at the second saddle and paused for a minute. I had a snack and drank some of my coconut water/orange juice/protein powder mix. For the record, this is a miserable concoction, and yet is somehow more palatable than plain coconut water. Plus it staves off muscle cramps and exhaustion, or so I have convinced myself. (My second day at bikram yoga, coconut water, which I might add, was forcibly given to me by a very kind but pushy woman, revived me from what I was certain would have been total physical and emotional collapse. Now I am sure it cures all things, though it tastes like concentrated evil.) I did not sit for fear that I would find rest comforting and begin to realize how desperately my feet/hips/knees probably hurt. Instead I walked in small circles and did some standing stretches. I passed or caught up with almost everyone else on the way back down. The man who had been behind me in the beginning was actually the first to make it down.
Catching up with everyone was actually surprisingly important to me. I've never hike with other people before and had been concerned that
1. this hike may have been too difficult for me, since it was rated a 4 on a 1-5 scale of increasing difficulty. (it wasn't, it was actually just right).
and
2. that I would be unreasonably slow and hold everybody up.
Not being the last to finish on this, my first group hike eliminated both of these fears. I'm apparently slow on the way up, but that's mostly due to the fact that I stop to take pictures of EVERYTHING. I'm quick on the way down, because I'm so focused on not sliding down the mountain (I'm so much more sure footed going up than I am going down, lol.) that there isn't time for pictures. I'm focused like a laser beam on the path and my footing.
This hike also made me much less nervous about the upcoming R2R of the Grand Canyon, which was a huge relief. The hike back out, though twice as long, has only a slightly higher elevation. If I can do Mt. Wrightson, I know I can handle the Bright Angel Trail, and that's the leg I was worried about.
Today I got up and my legs were much less sore and noodle-y than expected, and much better than they had been after the Peralta hike. My knee/shin is badly bruised from my fall, and I have 8 blisters in total, all on my big toes and my littlest toes, in varying places (which really was to be expected since I knew going in that my current hiking shoes fit poorly). Over all though, even the blisters don't hurt much once taped up appropriately, and none of my toe nails turned black or fell off, so that's a win. I feel the hike mostly in my hips this time (the muscle, not the bones, they're not breaking on me, lol), instead of squarely in my calves like I did last time, which I think was due to the rather intense elevation change on this particular hike, and my leg work over the past week.
All in all, the hiking club is a success, I think. I'll post photos of the Mt. Wrightson trek tomorrow for you. For now, I'm going to clean the house...maybe. Ha!
*lovelovelove*
I RSVP'd for this hike, emboldened by the fact that I had attended a social meeting and it had not gone poorly. I however, forgot to factor in that the meeting was held in an establishment which I am familiar with, which I drove myself to, which (since it was a meeting after all) was structured and had an expected flow (per Roberts Rules of Order), had predetermined topics of conversation, and it was held during happy hour, so I could nurse my margarita to keep my nerves at bay. The hike had none of these things. No expected conversational order, no pre-chosen topics of discussion, it was not in a familiar location, I did not know these people (none of them had gone to the previous meeting), we were hiking hours out of town in an area I was not familiar with, we were going to carpool, and it most definitely was not happy hour. (The list of concerns I had is actually much longer than this, but I'll stop here for brevity's sake.) Yikes. Planning fail on my part.
Anyway...
We all met in the parking lot of a nearby establishment to figure out the carpool configurations, and I ended up totally socially overwhelmed and muttered that I was terrified of people and would just drive myself. Everyone was very kind and tried to persuade me to ride with other people and 'be social' but instead I just slunk away in the chaos and drove myself. It was painfully awkward and I strongly considered driving myself home to cry over my inability to interact with other people, but instead, struggled to push myself through the intense fight or flight reaction I was having and followed them down to Sahuarita. In truth, I spent most of my time talking to myself out loud, going over what I would say if anyone mentioned me driving on my own, and trying to justify/spin my own painful blend of awkward in a way that seemed more quirky and mystical than unsociable hermit. In the end, no one mentioned it and the trip worked out really well.
Everyone was super nice and friendly, and no one really seemed to notice how inadequate my small talk skills are. Because I stop so frequently to take pictures I separated myself from the group fairly early on. I was in the rear, but not dead last, there were two people behind me with a dog, which made me feel safe. I hiked on, happy as a clam, secure in the knowledge that if I fell off a cliff or got mauled by a bear SOMEONE would know. That was marvelous.
It was a difficult hike, five miles uphill to the summit, climbing about 4,000 feet. As usual, the first hour or so was the worst as I struggled to find my hiking legs and adjust to the elevation. I reached the summit just as the group was finishing their lunch. I was actually the last one to reach it as one of the two people behind me got altitude sickness, and the other lapped me in an effort to let the others know. He passed me maybe 10 minutes before I reached the top. They all congratulated me when I got there, and offered to stay while I ate, but I told them to go on ahead. I didn't want to hold anyone up, and I really wanted a few moments alone to marvel at my accomplishment. I added my name to the list in the box, took some pictures and began the march down.
For a while I was concerned that there was no one behind me. I practically ran the first two miles back down. I could feel all my toes blistering as they slammed into the front of my shoes, and all of my toenails were sore. Eventually though, I reached a point where I could see some of the others and I felt much better.
At some point I slipped and fell. It hurt. A lot. But not so desperately that I had to slow down. The trail for the first half of the descent is steep and covered in loose rock (it's actually steep the entire way, but the loose rock gives way to a dirt path about half way). I stepped on my ankle improperly a couple of times, and slipped a couple more. At some point I slid and hit my foot on a rock with such a force, and at such an impressively specific angle, that I felt the very large blister on my big toe rupture.
I THREW my shoe off. Ouch. I had a blister kit on me and took care of the blister in question, being careful not to look at the other blisters on my toes. Ignorance is bliss, you know. I crammed my foot back in my shoe and pressed onward. I caught up to the two people in front of me, which in my mind made up for my slow ascent. We caught up with a few more at the second saddle and paused for a minute. I had a snack and drank some of my coconut water/orange juice/protein powder mix. For the record, this is a miserable concoction, and yet is somehow more palatable than plain coconut water. Plus it staves off muscle cramps and exhaustion, or so I have convinced myself. (My second day at bikram yoga, coconut water, which I might add, was forcibly given to me by a very kind but pushy woman, revived me from what I was certain would have been total physical and emotional collapse. Now I am sure it cures all things, though it tastes like concentrated evil.) I did not sit for fear that I would find rest comforting and begin to realize how desperately my feet/hips/knees probably hurt. Instead I walked in small circles and did some standing stretches. I passed or caught up with almost everyone else on the way back down. The man who had been behind me in the beginning was actually the first to make it down.
Catching up with everyone was actually surprisingly important to me. I've never hike with other people before and had been concerned that
1. this hike may have been too difficult for me, since it was rated a 4 on a 1-5 scale of increasing difficulty. (it wasn't, it was actually just right).
and
2. that I would be unreasonably slow and hold everybody up.
Not being the last to finish on this, my first group hike eliminated both of these fears. I'm apparently slow on the way up, but that's mostly due to the fact that I stop to take pictures of EVERYTHING. I'm quick on the way down, because I'm so focused on not sliding down the mountain (I'm so much more sure footed going up than I am going down, lol.) that there isn't time for pictures. I'm focused like a laser beam on the path and my footing.
This hike also made me much less nervous about the upcoming R2R of the Grand Canyon, which was a huge relief. The hike back out, though twice as long, has only a slightly higher elevation. If I can do Mt. Wrightson, I know I can handle the Bright Angel Trail, and that's the leg I was worried about.
Today I got up and my legs were much less sore and noodle-y than expected, and much better than they had been after the Peralta hike. My knee/shin is badly bruised from my fall, and I have 8 blisters in total, all on my big toes and my littlest toes, in varying places (which really was to be expected since I knew going in that my current hiking shoes fit poorly). Over all though, even the blisters don't hurt much once taped up appropriately, and none of my toe nails turned black or fell off, so that's a win. I feel the hike mostly in my hips this time (the muscle, not the bones, they're not breaking on me, lol), instead of squarely in my calves like I did last time, which I think was due to the rather intense elevation change on this particular hike, and my leg work over the past week.
All in all, the hiking club is a success, I think. I'll post photos of the Mt. Wrightson trek tomorrow for you. For now, I'm going to clean the house...maybe. Ha!
*lovelovelove*
A General Lack Of Focus
I keep starting these entries, and then failing to finish them. It's a terrible habit and I am, as of this moment, doing everything in my habit to rectify it.
I am however, continually distracted by all the things that need to get done around these parts, but that I am so desperately uninterested in doing.
The house needs to be cleaned, though this task has begun to feel like an endless loop of me cleaning it, and then awaking to find it somehow mysteriously messy again. The carpets need (desperately) to be shampooed again, but again, this seems like a futile task, as I am perpetually doing it, and yet it remains perpetually gross. (In an ideal world, carpet would be non-existent and thus I would not have to struggle with keeping it sanitary.) I need to clean out the fish tanks, which is actually an endless loop, as by the time I get them all clean and the water parameters where I want them I have to start the process again. I need to write a resume. I need to start applying for new/better/grown-up jobs...the list goes on.
Instead I just sort of flutter around half-doing all of these things, leaving me feeling that all of my hard work has been resolutely sub-par. Which is depressingly accurate.
I've been keeping myself distracted with a variety of things. My dad is partially at fault, since he procured the first five seasons of Big Bang Theory for me. TV is the devil and I've worked hard to avoid it, but some things cannot be avoided. I already own the series, and I can't help but love it. I've started reading compulsively, but again, like most things in my life right now, I find myself loosing interest around the half way point. I can't seem to focus on anything long-term.
I joined a hiking group recently, during an overly ambitious social streak. I attended a meeting, which went well since it was happy hour and could nurse a margarita to keep the anxiety at bay. I went on my first hike with the group this weekend, which started out poorly... I'll go into that in the next post.
Anyway, I've thrown myself full-force into hiking, I think as a distraction from the upcoming decisions I know I'm going to have to make. The first is actually applying for new jobs, which while I want this (desperately) in theory, I also LOATHE change, something which we've discussed at length, I know.
And the second, that I have to decide whether to renew my lease or not. I love my apartment, like, a lot, but I also miss moving every year, if for no other reason than I could just abandon my apartment every time I felt the carpet got too dirty. (And yes, my fear of dirty carpet trumps my fear of change, hands down.) Having been here for 3 years now, it's pretty gross, despite my regular attempts at cleaning it. Did you know apartment carpet only has a life expectancy of five years? It's the truth. I found this out when I switched apartments here and was told they pro-rate the cost of replacing the carpet on any given apartment based on how close it is to the five year replacement mark. My carpet was not new when I moved in. It is well past its life expectancy and it mocks me with its continued existence. On the other hand, I have soooooooo much stuff. So much. And so much heavy stuff at that. The fish tanks alone....ugh.
Even if I don't move, I have some serious de-cluttering to do. The nice thing about moving continually is that it forces you to really evaluate what's worth the energy expenditure of packing/moving/un-packing and helps to keep a home clutter free. I've been nesting here for ages, and as expected, I've accumulated too much stuff.
Instead of actually dealing with either of these things, I've been keeping myself busy, sore, and physically active in the hopes of discouraging me from having to make any sort of decisions that might necessitate any sort of minute change to my life. It is not productive, but it is fun.
And that, I believe, is all I know.
Or at least, all I can think of.
As always I miss your face terribly. More than terribly, really, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be seeing you soon and I suppose THAT'S what matters.
Until then,
All my love,
LittleFoot.
I am however, continually distracted by all the things that need to get done around these parts, but that I am so desperately uninterested in doing.
The house needs to be cleaned, though this task has begun to feel like an endless loop of me cleaning it, and then awaking to find it somehow mysteriously messy again. The carpets need (desperately) to be shampooed again, but again, this seems like a futile task, as I am perpetually doing it, and yet it remains perpetually gross. (In an ideal world, carpet would be non-existent and thus I would not have to struggle with keeping it sanitary.) I need to clean out the fish tanks, which is actually an endless loop, as by the time I get them all clean and the water parameters where I want them I have to start the process again. I need to write a resume. I need to start applying for new/better/grown-up jobs...the list goes on.
Instead I just sort of flutter around half-doing all of these things, leaving me feeling that all of my hard work has been resolutely sub-par. Which is depressingly accurate.
I've been keeping myself distracted with a variety of things. My dad is partially at fault, since he procured the first five seasons of Big Bang Theory for me. TV is the devil and I've worked hard to avoid it, but some things cannot be avoided. I already own the series, and I can't help but love it. I've started reading compulsively, but again, like most things in my life right now, I find myself loosing interest around the half way point. I can't seem to focus on anything long-term.
I joined a hiking group recently, during an overly ambitious social streak. I attended a meeting, which went well since it was happy hour and could nurse a margarita to keep the anxiety at bay. I went on my first hike with the group this weekend, which started out poorly... I'll go into that in the next post.
Anyway, I've thrown myself full-force into hiking, I think as a distraction from the upcoming decisions I know I'm going to have to make. The first is actually applying for new jobs, which while I want this (desperately) in theory, I also LOATHE change, something which we've discussed at length, I know.
And the second, that I have to decide whether to renew my lease or not. I love my apartment, like, a lot, but I also miss moving every year, if for no other reason than I could just abandon my apartment every time I felt the carpet got too dirty. (And yes, my fear of dirty carpet trumps my fear of change, hands down.) Having been here for 3 years now, it's pretty gross, despite my regular attempts at cleaning it. Did you know apartment carpet only has a life expectancy of five years? It's the truth. I found this out when I switched apartments here and was told they pro-rate the cost of replacing the carpet on any given apartment based on how close it is to the five year replacement mark. My carpet was not new when I moved in. It is well past its life expectancy and it mocks me with its continued existence. On the other hand, I have soooooooo much stuff. So much. And so much heavy stuff at that. The fish tanks alone....ugh.
Even if I don't move, I have some serious de-cluttering to do. The nice thing about moving continually is that it forces you to really evaluate what's worth the energy expenditure of packing/moving/un-packing and helps to keep a home clutter free. I've been nesting here for ages, and as expected, I've accumulated too much stuff.
Instead of actually dealing with either of these things, I've been keeping myself busy, sore, and physically active in the hopes of discouraging me from having to make any sort of decisions that might necessitate any sort of minute change to my life. It is not productive, but it is fun.
And that, I believe, is all I know.
Or at least, all I can think of.
As always I miss your face terribly. More than terribly, really, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be seeing you soon and I suppose THAT'S what matters.
Until then,
All my love,
LittleFoot.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Today I climbed a mountain.
A really, really, big mountain.
And it was awesome.
Now, I'm exhausted, covered in blisters, and headed for bed.
Miss you.
And it was awesome.
Now, I'm exhausted, covered in blisters, and headed for bed.
Miss you.
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