Wednesdays are lame.

...just for the record.


I went to the doctor today to get my ear looked at. I woke up this morning with green puss dripping out of my ear and a terrible case of vertigo. Room spinning, too many tequila shots kind of terrible, because my inner ear is so full of puss. It was....unpleasant. '

Anywho, since I'm always complaining about my ears and it's never really THAT bad, I brought a biohazard bag full of q-tips soaked in the offensive green slime as evidence. While my doctor was amused, I don't think she totally appreciated my bag-o-bodily fluids. Oh well.

I didn't have a fever and haven't been sick so she was skeptical, even when faced with my evidence. And then she looked in my ear. Apparently it's really gross in there, in fact, she couldn't even see my ear drum. I'm sad that I can't get a good look at it, but I know from the copious amount of ear mucus pouring out of it that it probably resembles a war zone. At any rate she took a culture.

Now, just to be clear, I am the uncontested Queen of ear infections. I have had them almost constantly for the majority of my life due to narrow eustachian tubes and poor middle ear drainage. I however, have never had anything so gross in my ear that it needed to be cultured. So that's one for the record books.

Moral of the story: 99% probability that I have a severe Pseudomonas infection in my ear (not the harmless swimmers ear kind either. Yeah, you heard me. Pneumonia bacteria is growing in my ear. No wonder I can't hear a damn thing. It's gram negative, pretty close to drug resistant, and uber gross. It has an 89% mortality rate with lung infections. While that drops down to 15-20% for ear infections, I'm still not pleased with the survival odds considering it's a damn ear infection. (And I swear on all things holy, if I die from a dang ear infection I'm going to do some major avenging in the afterlife.) I'm also supposed to be on the look out for any signs of facial paralysis...weird.

$100 in medication later and I still feel gross. My ear is still dripping stuff. I still can't hear. I've run out of Q-tips. My entire head still hurts in spite of numbing ear drops and codine. And I'm constantly asking Goose if the right side of my face looks droopy. Other than that life is good.

How are things with you? How's your tongue healing up? We miss you terribly and I'm dreading having to go to pride in 4 weeks without you. Lots of love.