Swing.

She came to and her
Whole life was how she remembered it
She had a mouth full of fur
And she was laughing

Meh. So I'm back. These past couple of weeks have been chaos. I'd try to catch you up, but it seems that every time I promise to do that I never do. *le sigh*. Instead I'm just going to ramble and you'll have to make due with the stuff that falls out of my mouth/hands/whathaveyou.

First up, I finished my bikram crucible! Hooray! I missed two days out of the 14 due to circumstances beyond my control, but overall I'm super proud of myself. I'm working on getting the money together for the 10 week challenge, so hopefully that will start soon.

The first two classes, as discussed earlier, were ridiculous and challenging and all sorts of other things. Then, on the third day, something magical happened: I found my center. I'd been listening to the instructors tell me over and over again that it was all a head game, that this was really a 90 minute moving meditation in a challenging environment, that I just needed to find my space and listen to the sound of my breath. And you know what? They were totally right.

Day three was really the most magical of all the days. I moved through the postures without issue, I touched my toes without wanting to die for the first time in memorable history, and I really didn't even notice the heat. This day, however, was a bit of an exception. Since then there have been good and bad days.

Some days I have no balance. Some days my right hip just refuses to stay in the socket during triangle. Some days I can't grab my toes. Some days I still get nauseous coming out of camel. Some days (like yesterday) the humidity really kicks my ass. But overall, every day I leave feeling better. More centered. More positive. And less arthritic. So I'd call that a substantial victory.

She parked her hearse
Across three spaces posted for motorcycles only
And jumped out, shouting
"What the cus could make a nice girl
Like us feel so lonely?"

I'm still struggling to really get into the swing of the semester. I have not been able to settle into a good rhythm of work, school, homework, housework, but I'm slowly making progress. Clawing my way toward some semblance of order. I'm pretty proud of that.

Are you weary as water
In a faucet left dripping
With an incessant sadness
Like a sad record skipping

And an ugly and ornery
And shadowy dread
Lurking like a troll under the bridge
Between your heart and your head

My grandmother passed away last week, which was bittersweet. She's been suffering for years and years now, alternating between being crippled by Parkinsons and being plagued by hallucinations brought on by the Parkinsons treatment. The last six or so months have been really unbearable. So while I know that Dad is heartbroken to have buried his last remaining parent, he is also really relieved that this last leg of her journey is over. He came back home to us feeling better and more at peace with the whole process, which makes me happy.

Please dumb blind kind sir
Lend little miss listless a bit of Christmas
She's been a real good girl
But now she's stuck here

Sleep issues have been plaguing me since the start of the semester. I fall asleep easy enough, but no mater what time I go to sleep, whether it's early or late, I systematically wake up at 3:11 am. It is super annoying. Today I'm going to start taking Magnesium supplements and I am going to turn the clock around and see if I can't reset my internal clock. I don't feel tired during the day, but I know that lack of sleep is going to add up and then when it finally gets to me I am going to be a totally unreasonable, raving monster.

The world is so little and still
Mysterious and ominous as ever before
Like an unmarked bottle full of pills
On the shelf right next to the ting
You were reaching for

I blew through Frankenstein this week, and then watched several lectures on different ways people have analyzed the plot. It was pretty fantastic. I'm actually really sad that this is my last semester, and that I didn't take more totally useless classes during my time in school. I mean, I took a LOT of useless classes, but they were always like molecular biology, or organic chemistry, or whatever. Classes that were simultaneously useless and serious. (I mean useless in relation to my degree, not in terms of inherent value, obviously) I did not take a lot of light-hearted art/lit classes this go-around, and clearly I should have.

Swing the groove 'round here
Where I can reach it
When I get my ass back on track
I'm gonna need it

Swing shift 'til I get the money
To buy me and my baby a moon full of honey
Then I'm gonna turn on the nagging voices
Inside my head

That follow me to bed and say
You suck, blah, blah, blah

I love you Dear Friend. I miss you terribly, as I'm sure you're aware by now. It seems somehow unfair that there is so much...geography...between there and here. One day I'll be able to solve that, you'll see. Just snip out all the middle bits. Take care. Lovelovelove.

Are you weary as water
In a faucet left dripping
With an incessant sadness
Like a sad record skipping

And an ugly and ornery
And shadowy dread
Lurking like a troll under the bridge
Between your heart and your head

Song of the Day is Swing, obviously.

(Song is currently refusing to upload, so use your imagination for now, I'll fix it later. More love!)