I felt almost instantly better after writing that last post, and fell fast asleep (for the first time in days) shortly thereafter. The anxiety since then has been coming in waves. It washes over me, and then retreats. I expect things will remain this way through the end of the semester (which NO, I am not looking forward to. AT. ALL. Mostly because it brings with it waaaaaay more change than I'm comfortable with.).
I'd write down a list of anxiety sources (though the aforementioned one is by far the greatest), but I think that having to look at them all written down and staring back at me might push me over the edge. Lists are not my friends. Or at least, written lists are not. They're fine in my head, but insufferable and suffocating once written down, so for now at least, the plan is to focus only on the immediate task at hand, and pretend everything else does not exist.
You know, my usual M.O.
We'll see how long that lasts.
In other news, I'm in the middle of building a frame for my new bed. It's basically a hack of some Ikea bookshelves, and I'm pretty dang thrilled about it. I've got to pick up one more this weekend after I get paid, and then maybe I'll post some pics of it.
I say maybe, because if history is anything to go by, the very act of writing that statement down pretty much guarantees that I won't follow through with it. Demand avoidance, and all that.
I'm moving the larger of the fish tanks this weekend, which will be interesting considering it houses all my big fish. I have a 14 inch black ghost knife in there (named Marlow) who is going to be super pissed about the situation. There's also a pretty big pink tailed chalceus (Heathcliff), some large catfish (Starbuck and Stubb), a large angel (Queequeg)[who for the record, has gotten HUGE over the past year or so], and a big/fat gold spot pleco called Tashtego.
How exactly I'm going to transport them has yet to be decided. Some of them will undoubtedly be transported via bags, like they are when you purchase them from the fish store, but some of them, particularly Marlow, are just too big to spend very long in a bag. Right now I'm thinking about maybe using the cooler? But we'll have to see how that goes.
That's all I know, or at least all I can think of today. I'm currently suffering through a biostats lecture, I'm starving, and my computer is dying. But if this is the lowest point in my day, I'll be super pleased. Lol. :)
Lots of love.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
If there were a merciful god,
he would have given me a brain aneurism by now.
Or so I tell myself.
This week I have begun rapidly unraveling. The problem(s) started two(?) maybe three weeks ago. They all seemed like such minor things at the time, and in true Little Foot fashion, I failed to notice the impending doom. Instead, I just wandered around telling myself everything was peachy, that my marvelous happy/hyper energy was due to all the wonderful things I have in my life right now and not at all related to the fact that I was running full speed at (and rapidly approaching) my maximum anxiety level cliff.
Until, that is, I suddenly stopped being able to eat/sleep/concentrate and began wandering around on the verge of tears with my organs all balled up in tight little angry knots. Then, and only then did I notice the drop-off ahead.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's the end of the semester. This ALWAYS happens. And to some degree that's true. But it's not usually on this scale.
I wish I could write out what exactly it is that's bothering me, but really, I'm not even sure I could. What started out as a lot of small, seemingly insignificant things has somehow snowballed into an avalanche of giant, significant things, desperately seeking to destroy me.
They won't, don't get me wrong, but it's days like today that I have to remind myself that if I were a weaker person I would have given up by now. That I've only made it this far because I'm stubborn as all get-out and I just refuse to give up. Even when dark, terrible, impossible things seem to be looming over me. Even when I'm a panicky, anxiety ridden mess. Even when I'm failing to function on a satisfactory level. I still just keep moving forward.
Aaarghhhhhhhh.
What I really want, more than anything is a hot bath. I've convinced myself, albeit, rather foolishly, that that's the one thing that has the power to make me feel better. Of course, to add to the list of minor annoyances, I can't take one for like, another week. And all the showers in the world (and believe me, I've had more than a few today), just aren't cutting it.
*Le Sigh*
First World Problems.
I miss your FACE, Lady. I wish you were here to commiserate with me. For now though, I'm going to have a bowl of Waldorf Salad in your honor, and pray to the powers that be to get me through the next three weeks. Lol.
Lots Of Love!!! <-(also could be lol, HA!)
me.
Or so I tell myself.
This week I have begun rapidly unraveling. The problem(s) started two(?) maybe three weeks ago. They all seemed like such minor things at the time, and in true Little Foot fashion, I failed to notice the impending doom. Instead, I just wandered around telling myself everything was peachy, that my marvelous happy/hyper energy was due to all the wonderful things I have in my life right now and not at all related to the fact that I was running full speed at (and rapidly approaching) my maximum anxiety level cliff.
Until, that is, I suddenly stopped being able to eat/sleep/concentrate and began wandering around on the verge of tears with my organs all balled up in tight little angry knots. Then, and only then did I notice the drop-off ahead.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's the end of the semester. This ALWAYS happens. And to some degree that's true. But it's not usually on this scale.
I wish I could write out what exactly it is that's bothering me, but really, I'm not even sure I could. What started out as a lot of small, seemingly insignificant things has somehow snowballed into an avalanche of giant, significant things, desperately seeking to destroy me.
They won't, don't get me wrong, but it's days like today that I have to remind myself that if I were a weaker person I would have given up by now. That I've only made it this far because I'm stubborn as all get-out and I just refuse to give up. Even when dark, terrible, impossible things seem to be looming over me. Even when I'm a panicky, anxiety ridden mess. Even when I'm failing to function on a satisfactory level. I still just keep moving forward.
Aaarghhhhhhhh.
What I really want, more than anything is a hot bath. I've convinced myself, albeit, rather foolishly, that that's the one thing that has the power to make me feel better. Of course, to add to the list of minor annoyances, I can't take one for like, another week. And all the showers in the world (and believe me, I've had more than a few today), just aren't cutting it.
*Le Sigh*
First World Problems.
I miss your FACE, Lady. I wish you were here to commiserate with me. For now though, I'm going to have a bowl of Waldorf Salad in your honor, and pray to the powers that be to get me through the next three weeks. Lol.
Lots Of Love!!! <-(also could be lol, HA!)
me.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Friday.
Tomorrow would be OUR Thanksgiving dinner, and I'm both dreading and looking forward to it simultaneously. Right now however, I'm exhausted. Bleary eyed. But happy and thankful for my wonderful life.
I miss your face. Terribly, in case I haven't made that clear enough. <3 I wish you were here. <3
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Turkey Day!
Today I am grateful for so many things. For the wonderful year that I've had. For the things I've managed to achieve. For my wonderful family. For my amazing friends. For YOU Dear Friend. For my critters. For my job. For the clear sky we had tonight, and the amazing view of the stars. For clarity. For inner peace. For self-sufficiency. For ambition and life goals, two things I had taken for granted before. For all sorts of magical things that make my life blessed.
I'm grateful for these things everyday. Today however, I say an extra big thank you to the universe, for these things and many more.
Life is Beautiful.
Turkey is tasty.
And now I am tired.
I miss your face Dear Friend, and I wish we could have spent the night drinking amaretto sours and stuffing ourselves with turkey and pie together. I can't believe this is the second Thanksgiving since you left, that feels...I don't know, almost impossible. I hope your day was lovely, even though you had to work. I hope there was as little stress as possible, and that at least the food was spectacular.
Lots of love.
Me.
Wednesday
Wednesday was brutal. I worked my ass off, and then I worked it off some more. The needs were endless, and the requests just kept coming. Every time I though I was almost done something else came up. Ridiculous. On the bright side though, my dad did bring me pie for breakfast, so I guess that means I broke even. :)
Monday, November 19, 2012
One more for good measure...
I freaking love Cher. Love. All of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. I can't help it, and today was one big, long, Cher dance party. I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting her new album in December. All things in life are beautiful right now. All things. Lots of love. *muah*
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Huh.
What a strange day today was!
I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. I finished scrubbing all the carpets and got a handle on the rest of the housework. A little later my sister came over and we hung out for most of the day. We've somehow become pretty good friends over the past six months or so. Anyway, she's currently camped out in my living room.
Also, I'm moving in with her. Like, now-ish. Like giving my notice of intent to break my lease in the morning. I know, right? Where did that come from?
I'm sad to be leaving my lovely apartment, particularly since I just got it looking the way I wanted it to recently, but I am happy for a lot of other reasons.
I'll tell you all about it the next time we get to talk. I miss you tons.
Love and stuff,
Me.
I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. I finished scrubbing all the carpets and got a handle on the rest of the housework. A little later my sister came over and we hung out for most of the day. We've somehow become pretty good friends over the past six months or so. Anyway, she's currently camped out in my living room.
Also, I'm moving in with her. Like, now-ish. Like giving my notice of intent to break my lease in the morning. I know, right? Where did that come from?
I'm sad to be leaving my lovely apartment, particularly since I just got it looking the way I wanted it to recently, but I am happy for a lot of other reasons.
I'll tell you all about it the next time we get to talk. I miss you tons.
Love and stuff,
Me.
Song for Yesterday.
This one is just sooooo mellow and beautiful I could just wrap myself up in it forever.
Thanksgiving!
Today is going to be a wonderful day, it's decided. I can feel it in my bones. I've got to finish the carpets and take care of some other pre-gaming stuff regarding this weeks festivities. How I'm going to make it through three dinner parties, I'll never know. But rest assured, I will! And not only that, but they will be AMAZING.
I.
Am.
So.
Psyched.
!!!!!
(Though, clearly nowhere near as psyched as if you were going to be here, but I think that goes without saying at this point. I miss our dinner parties to an insane degree.)
I'm also super ready for this semester to be over. :) Not that I'm not enjoying it, and not that I don't just LOVE school, because I do, but because at this point, I'm totally just...done. *laughs*
I'm ready for some me time, at least for a couple of months. I'm ready to be able to quit my job if/when I feel like it rather than being bound to it by my impossible class schedule. I'm ready to do something different for a little while. I'm ready to take the GRE, and then to devote the next ten years of my life to absolutely nothing but studying. I'm ready for a lot of things. However, I am not ready for class on Monday. Nope, not at all. ;)
Eh, I miss your face Dear Friend. Lots and lots. Song of the day is Angry Johnny. Love!!
I.
Am.
So.
Psyched.
!!!!!
(Though, clearly nowhere near as psyched as if you were going to be here, but I think that goes without saying at this point. I miss our dinner parties to an insane degree.)
I'm also super ready for this semester to be over. :) Not that I'm not enjoying it, and not that I don't just LOVE school, because I do, but because at this point, I'm totally just...done. *laughs*
I'm ready for some me time, at least for a couple of months. I'm ready to be able to quit my job if/when I feel like it rather than being bound to it by my impossible class schedule. I'm ready to do something different for a little while. I'm ready to take the GRE, and then to devote the next ten years of my life to absolutely nothing but studying. I'm ready for a lot of things. However, I am not ready for class on Monday. Nope, not at all. ;)
Eh, I miss your face Dear Friend. Lots and lots. Song of the day is Angry Johnny. Love!!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Song for Today.
Well Dear Friend, I survived another Wednesday. :) Now the sun has set, I'm eating homemade cookies and listening to Dressy Bessy, all week in the knees from its loveliness.
Miss you terribly. <3
Miss you terribly. <3
Monday, November 12, 2012
Flayed.
Today I flayed my little toe. It's exceptionally gross. I tripped in the dark and stepped down (hard) on that little metal piece the protects the corners of the box spring. It's rounded and not even vaguely sharp, but it somehow went in deep and peeled a big, super thick flap of skin off.
Gross, and/or ick.
There was blood everywhere. In fact, I can't recall another (accidental) injury that bled anywhere near this much.
I'll post the picture for you in the morning, but the depth and inherent meaty-ness of the whole thing can't accurately be conveyed via photography.
And with that, I'm going to bed.
<3
Gross, and/or ick.
There was blood everywhere. In fact, I can't recall another (accidental) injury that bled anywhere near this much.
I'll post the picture for you in the morning, but the depth and inherent meaty-ness of the whole thing can't accurately be conveyed via photography.
And with that, I'm going to bed.
<3
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Give 'em the ol' razzle-dazzle,
Today Dear Friend was one of the more productive days I've had in recent memory.
It started out poorly as I inexplicably had four cups of coffee just before bed Saturday night and as a result slept fitfully. This was further exacerbated by a series of phone calls and text messages that punctuated what little sleep I got, from two thirty to six am. Around eight am I admitted defeat and hauled myself out of bed.
I was a bit restless this morning which was mostly I think, due to delirium, and I just couldn't commit to anything. I sort of half did several things on my to do list before getting dressed and going grocery shopping.
I got my food, came home, put it away and had lunch. I opened up the windows and doors, (it's in the 70's now), and watched some more AbFab. At some point I got restless and started cleaning.
Not only did I clean the vast majority of the house top to bottom, but I restructured and re-organized some areas that were starting to get...cluttery. I went through all my things and packed up everything that needs to be donated and got rid of all the old TVs and stuff that I have lying around. (Now I just have that one storage closet of doom to go through!) I also got rid of the patio furniture that I no longer want and swept and scrubbed the patio.
I spent a great deal of time re-working my bedroom and I am now, officially, ninety-nine percent satisfied with it. The only thing it's lacking are actual curtains and then it will exactly as I want it. I'm hoping to get those up next weekend, but I can't totally commit to that just yet. :)
At any rate, my house looks awesome, which is particularly great since its damn near Thanksgiving, and my house is going to be crawling with people over the next couple of weeks. I'm trying desperately not to lament the fact that you won't be here for the festivities again this year. Its weird having holidays without you around. This year is going to be even stranger than last year since I've got an entirely new thing going on and three separate dinner parties to execute. Hopefully the deviation from the old routine will help.
At any rate, I miss your face. I hope things are super fantastic. Tell P I say hello.
Song of the day is a dream sequence from AbFab
Sweet dreams Dear Friend!! :)
It started out poorly as I inexplicably had four cups of coffee just before bed Saturday night and as a result slept fitfully. This was further exacerbated by a series of phone calls and text messages that punctuated what little sleep I got, from two thirty to six am. Around eight am I admitted defeat and hauled myself out of bed.
I was a bit restless this morning which was mostly I think, due to delirium, and I just couldn't commit to anything. I sort of half did several things on my to do list before getting dressed and going grocery shopping.
I got my food, came home, put it away and had lunch. I opened up the windows and doors, (it's in the 70's now), and watched some more AbFab. At some point I got restless and started cleaning.
Not only did I clean the vast majority of the house top to bottom, but I restructured and re-organized some areas that were starting to get...cluttery. I went through all my things and packed up everything that needs to be donated and got rid of all the old TVs and stuff that I have lying around. (Now I just have that one storage closet of doom to go through!) I also got rid of the patio furniture that I no longer want and swept and scrubbed the patio.
I spent a great deal of time re-working my bedroom and I am now, officially, ninety-nine percent satisfied with it. The only thing it's lacking are actual curtains and then it will exactly as I want it. I'm hoping to get those up next weekend, but I can't totally commit to that just yet. :)
At any rate, my house looks awesome, which is particularly great since its damn near Thanksgiving, and my house is going to be crawling with people over the next couple of weeks. I'm trying desperately not to lament the fact that you won't be here for the festivities again this year. Its weird having holidays without you around. This year is going to be even stranger than last year since I've got an entirely new thing going on and three separate dinner parties to execute. Hopefully the deviation from the old routine will help.
At any rate, I miss your face. I hope things are super fantastic. Tell P I say hello.
Song of the day is a dream sequence from AbFab
Sweet dreams Dear Friend!! :)
Poor Oscar.
Well Dear Friend, somehow yet another weekend has come and gone. I'm not sure where all the time goes, but I am sure that it's going.
This weekend was so lovely, but almost totally uneventful. Yesterday the dog and I mostly lazed about. I had intended to do a great many things, but instead we mostly spent the day with the windows open watching AbFab and enjoying the weather. Mostly...
Oscar's been feeling unwell for the last couple of months. He's had one bladder infection after the other, and has been generally unhappy. The vet suggested I start feeding them wet food in addition to their dry food since part of the problem may be that he's just not drinking enough water.
I did this, and both the cats were very happy about the new wet food, or at least they were...for a couple of hours. The first cue that something was wrong was a terrible odor that kept wafting through the house. I had anticipated this though, so I wasn't particularly concerned. However, later in the evening our AbFab marathon was interrupted by some strange sounds. I paused the video and heard Oscar's very distinct, soft little mew, punctuating what can only be described as the sounds of acute gastrointestinal distress.
I went back to investigate, but Oscar met me half way between my spot on the couch and his previous position in the litter box, dragging is poo covered butt down the length of the hallway. His ears were down and back and he looked up at me with a face full of sheer desperation as he scooted his way down the carpet. Poor sick, gross, Cat Man.
I scooped him up and plopped him into the tub.
(Gross.)
Poor, poor Pants Man.
He had to have a bath.
And a hair cut.
He spent most of the rest of the evening curled up in a ball looking deflated.
I spent most of the rest of the night scrubbing his butt trail out of the carpet. :/ The carpet looks nice again, but I'll be picking up a rug doctor this weekend for good measure.
Today he seems to be feeling much better. We've had no other issues with the wet food, I think he just had to survive the initial shock to his system. He's currently curled up in my lap sucking on his blanket and purring away.
Hopefully the worst of it is behind us.
This weekend was so lovely, but almost totally uneventful. Yesterday the dog and I mostly lazed about. I had intended to do a great many things, but instead we mostly spent the day with the windows open watching AbFab and enjoying the weather. Mostly...
Oscar's been feeling unwell for the last couple of months. He's had one bladder infection after the other, and has been generally unhappy. The vet suggested I start feeding them wet food in addition to their dry food since part of the problem may be that he's just not drinking enough water.
I did this, and both the cats were very happy about the new wet food, or at least they were...for a couple of hours. The first cue that something was wrong was a terrible odor that kept wafting through the house. I had anticipated this though, so I wasn't particularly concerned. However, later in the evening our AbFab marathon was interrupted by some strange sounds. I paused the video and heard Oscar's very distinct, soft little mew, punctuating what can only be described as the sounds of acute gastrointestinal distress.
I went back to investigate, but Oscar met me half way between my spot on the couch and his previous position in the litter box, dragging is poo covered butt down the length of the hallway. His ears were down and back and he looked up at me with a face full of sheer desperation as he scooted his way down the carpet. Poor sick, gross, Cat Man.
I scooped him up and plopped him into the tub.
(Gross.)
Poor, poor Pants Man.
He had to have a bath.
And a hair cut.
He spent most of the rest of the evening curled up in a ball looking deflated.
I spent most of the rest of the night scrubbing his butt trail out of the carpet. :/ The carpet looks nice again, but I'll be picking up a rug doctor this weekend for good measure.
Today he seems to be feeling much better. We've had no other issues with the wet food, I think he just had to survive the initial shock to his system. He's currently curled up in my lap sucking on his blanket and purring away.
Hopefully the worst of it is behind us.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Multi tasking.
This is me listening to my lecture while writing a paper and having dinner and a hookah at King Tuts. There have been internet connectivity issues at home all day and it was just running toooo slow for me to be able to accomplish anything. Hopefully by tomorrow they'll fix it. Anyway...
I think the last time I was here Dear Friend, you were here with me, like days before you left. As a result I'm feeling a bit...nostalgic. I'd say I'm feeling sad, I'd like to write sad as a matter of fact, but it isn't really 'sad' at all. It's something altogether different but I'm unsure how to properly identify it.
I guess that means nostalgic will have to do. :)
Speaking of nostalgic, this song has been so thoroughly stuck in my head all day. On repeat. 'over and over...' <-ha!
Lots of love to you and yours.
I think the last time I was here Dear Friend, you were here with me, like days before you left. As a result I'm feeling a bit...nostalgic. I'd say I'm feeling sad, I'd like to write sad as a matter of fact, but it isn't really 'sad' at all. It's something altogether different but I'm unsure how to properly identify it.
I guess that means nostalgic will have to do. :)
Speaking of nostalgic, this song has been so thoroughly stuck in my head all day. On repeat. 'over and over...' <-ha!
Lots of love to you and yours.
In the run down to finals.
We're in the thick of it now. As a result my time is...limited? Missing entirely? One of the two. Anyway, I miss your face. I owe you so many happy little songs, and so many pieces of my life. I'll try and get caught up asap. Lots of love.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
*Eeeeep!!*
I don't know about you, but I'm on the edge of my seat watching the election!
You know me, politics and I are not friends. In fact, I distinctly loathe, all things politics/election related except for this part. It seems so much less...I don't know, ominous and hate-filled once the campaigning is over. Now it's totally out of our hands, (or at least it is in theory) so there's no point (again, in theory) in worrying about it.
Now I'm going to go take a bubble bath, have a pumpkin beer, and watch the states change colors.
Today I will be grateful that the campaigning is over. Tomorrow I will worry about the results.
Hooray for the end of the election season!
Lots of love!
You know me, politics and I are not friends. In fact, I distinctly loathe, all things politics/election related except for this part. It seems so much less...I don't know, ominous and hate-filled once the campaigning is over. Now it's totally out of our hands, (or at least it is in theory) so there's no point (again, in theory) in worrying about it.
Now I'm going to go take a bubble bath, have a pumpkin beer, and watch the states change colors.
Today I will be grateful that the campaigning is over. Tomorrow I will worry about the results.
Hooray for the end of the election season!
Lots of love!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Say What?!
November? How did this happen?
I find myself in this predicament every year. I love October so dearly, but somehow the time just seems to hemorrhage out of and away from me. Before I know it my feet are already in November. It seems somehow unjust that time moves so much faster when I try to slow down and enjoy it.
Last week in particular just flew by. I did go out to celebrate Halloween, but did not make it out on the actual night. Instead I spent the weekend before hanging out in costume at Sanctum. They had a blood party and then we hung out at the gay Denny's until the sun came up. It was super fun, but staying out until 5 or 6 in the morning seriously kicks my ass these days. :)
My sister had a costume party, well, actually two of them. I missed the first one because I was sick.
(Did I mention there were 36 hours there where my apartment inexplicably just wreaked of paint thinner? Yeah, it made me super sick.)
I tried to stay home that night and get some rest, but my crazy neighbor, who to the best of my knowledge, has never ever in the two years he's lived above me, had ANYONE over to his apartment, decided to throw some massive dub-step soaked Halloween dance party all night. I managed to sleep through the first couple of hours of it, a-la tylenol pm and my migraine medicine, but as they got progressively more drunk, they got progressively more loud. Around 1 am I got dressed, packed up the dog and headed to my Dads.
In the morning we had coffee, and then spent the day shopping for my birthday. Shoe shopping. The worst kind of shopping there is. Lol. Do you know how hard it is to find a good work/athletic shoe in a size 5? Because it's super hard. It's even harder once you factor in the fact that I just can't justify spending $50/60/70/80/90+ on shoes (even if I'm not the one paying for them). It took all day, but we had lots of fun. We also picked up some power tools (because really, who doesn't want more tools?) and some flashlights, got lunch, and headed over to my sister's for her second costume party. This one was for the kids, so it was really mellow and cute. (Little B was Darth Vader and it was ridiculously adorable.)
My neighbor was up gaming all night the next couple of nights. He threw some pretty fantastic toddler style fits, including kicking the floor and throwing what I assume was the controller to his system. As a result I was pretty cranky for most of the week.
My birthday came and went. I was taken out to dinner by someone different every night the whole week which was pretty awesome. (You know how much I love food!) I also got to see a lot of the people I haven't gotten to hang out with much in the past couple of years so that was really nice.
I had every intention of heading out on Halloween, but when it came down to it, I ended up working late (and coming home grumpy), I was super tired from my neighbor screaming all night (all week), and I just wasn't up for spending the night on Mill. Instead I went home, got dressed up, made caramel apples, had a pumpkin beer, and watched Repo!. My neighbor, miraculously was nearly silent all night, and just having the night to myself in peace and quiet was the greatest thing in all the world.
I'm still (clearly) exhausted, and my neighbor continues to scream at his video games at night, though now it seems to be becoming less frequent again. My writing, I know, has gotten really flat over the course of the last 8 months or so, I know. I'm hoping that once the semester is over and I have some time to decompress my voice will come back to me. In the mean time, you're just going to have to take me as I am.
I miss you Dear Friend! I hope your holiday was super fun! Lots of love.
I find myself in this predicament every year. I love October so dearly, but somehow the time just seems to hemorrhage out of and away from me. Before I know it my feet are already in November. It seems somehow unjust that time moves so much faster when I try to slow down and enjoy it.
Last week in particular just flew by. I did go out to celebrate Halloween, but did not make it out on the actual night. Instead I spent the weekend before hanging out in costume at Sanctum. They had a blood party and then we hung out at the gay Denny's until the sun came up. It was super fun, but staying out until 5 or 6 in the morning seriously kicks my ass these days. :)
My sister had a costume party, well, actually two of them. I missed the first one because I was sick.
(Did I mention there were 36 hours there where my apartment inexplicably just wreaked of paint thinner? Yeah, it made me super sick.)
I tried to stay home that night and get some rest, but my crazy neighbor, who to the best of my knowledge, has never ever in the two years he's lived above me, had ANYONE over to his apartment, decided to throw some massive dub-step soaked Halloween dance party all night. I managed to sleep through the first couple of hours of it, a-la tylenol pm and my migraine medicine, but as they got progressively more drunk, they got progressively more loud. Around 1 am I got dressed, packed up the dog and headed to my Dads.
In the morning we had coffee, and then spent the day shopping for my birthday. Shoe shopping. The worst kind of shopping there is. Lol. Do you know how hard it is to find a good work/athletic shoe in a size 5? Because it's super hard. It's even harder once you factor in the fact that I just can't justify spending $50/60/70/80/90+ on shoes (even if I'm not the one paying for them). It took all day, but we had lots of fun. We also picked up some power tools (because really, who doesn't want more tools?) and some flashlights, got lunch, and headed over to my sister's for her second costume party. This one was for the kids, so it was really mellow and cute. (Little B was Darth Vader and it was ridiculously adorable.)
My neighbor was up gaming all night the next couple of nights. He threw some pretty fantastic toddler style fits, including kicking the floor and throwing what I assume was the controller to his system. As a result I was pretty cranky for most of the week.
My birthday came and went. I was taken out to dinner by someone different every night the whole week which was pretty awesome. (You know how much I love food!) I also got to see a lot of the people I haven't gotten to hang out with much in the past couple of years so that was really nice.
I had every intention of heading out on Halloween, but when it came down to it, I ended up working late (and coming home grumpy), I was super tired from my neighbor screaming all night (all week), and I just wasn't up for spending the night on Mill. Instead I went home, got dressed up, made caramel apples, had a pumpkin beer, and watched Repo!. My neighbor, miraculously was nearly silent all night, and just having the night to myself in peace and quiet was the greatest thing in all the world.
I'm still (clearly) exhausted, and my neighbor continues to scream at his video games at night, though now it seems to be becoming less frequent again. My writing, I know, has gotten really flat over the course of the last 8 months or so, I know. I'm hoping that once the semester is over and I have some time to decompress my voice will come back to me. In the mean time, you're just going to have to take me as I am.
I miss you Dear Friend! I hope your holiday was super fun! Lots of love.
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