Incipient Mutany.

Dear Friend, I hate all things, and I wish you were here.

As predicted the sun came up this morning. Time continues to tick by at a constant rate. And I continue to unravel.

My Dear Father brought me breakfast at work early this morning. Chocolate milk, coffee, a box of donuts, and various hot breakfast items from McDonalds in hopes of rallying my spirit.

Instead he found me at my desk. Hunched over. Frazzled beyond belief, having not slept at all last night (in spite of my sleeping pills), and having failed to keep any food down since the early hours of yesterday.

I had exactly one bite and promptly threw up.

I am starving and exhausted. My organs are all twisted up in tiny little, tight, cancerous knots. And in fifteen or so minutes, I have to put on the big kid pants, walk into my classroom, and get my sh*t together.

For.
Reals.

It is my absolute worst case scenario.


It will be okay, I keep telling myself it will be okay.
And it will.
Because there is no other option.
But how I'm going to (make myself) get from HERE
to OKAY
remains to be seen.



My heart is racing, and I've been quietly weeping all morning, but it's going to be okay.
It's gotta be.


I miss your face.