Dear Friend,

I am sorry that things are so dark up there in the land of trees and fog. I wish with all I have that I could somehow make it better, but I have no idea where to begin.

As a tiny consolation prize, I feel like I should mention that this time of year is the time that people in general are at their most depressed. The winter cold, the short hours of sunlight, and the always stressful holiday season tends to make for a miserable January. I know, offering you statistics is less than helpful, but when all else fails me I always turn to data.

I miss having you here fiercely. Even if I rarely got to see you, knowing you were here when my world fell apart always made me feel better. Now when I get lost in my own dark thoughts I just loop on your absence.

I'm so sorry for all that you're mourning. I do know how hard you worked to claw yourself up from those two suitcases, and I am sorry that you feel as though all the sand is just slipping through your fingers. I don't know how to fix that, but I will at least commiserate with you all of the days. I will always write you mush-mouthy best friend love letters and post them to the interwebs. I will always rummage through my memory boxes of all the notes you've written me over the years. I will always miss our shenanigans. And I will always look forward to days when we get to roll around in our own awesomeness again.

You're my world, Dear Friend. The one person who keeps me tethered to my sense of self, to my personal history, and who gives me hope for my future. Hope because the two of us always manage to battle on feverishly against the night. Swearing and spitting at the obstacles in front of us as we smash our way around or through them. And even when we are forced to surrender, it's never for long. I don't know anyone else like that, that meets my intensity and stubbornness. I don't know that I ever will.

So for now lets just scream into the night like wild children. You wail up at your moon and I'll wail up at mine, and (for now at least) we'll forget how many things we've lost, and how much things have changed over the past two years, okay?

I carry you in my heart always, but I promise to do so even more this week.

Keep your chin up, love. You'll always be my favorite.
One day things will be better.

What's past is prologue.

Here's a sad, bitter song for sad bitter days:



Well morning came
And it dressed the sky
In a lovely yellow gown
Now the shops they are
All opening
In that narrow hallway of downtown
Filled with people who
Are shopping for
Their lovers and their friends
So they won't ever be lonely again
Well a forest fenced
becomes backyards
Like songs are born from sound
And the apple fell
And it taught us all
We are chained here to the ground
So here we go
But there ain't no escape
Yeah, these streets they're just dead ends
So I won't ever be happy again
Well, it seems you too
See a painful blue
When you stare into the sky
You could never understand
The motion of a hand waving you goodbye
"Bye bye"
But as the story goes
or it is often told
A new day will arise
And all the dance halls will
Be full of skeletons
That are coming back to life
And on a grassy hill
the lion will
lay down with the lamb
And I won't ever be lonely again
No, no, no, no, no
But until that time
I think I had better find
some disbelief to suspend
Cause I don't want to feel like this again.

Sending all my love.
LittleFoot.